Sunday, October 26, 2008

Anthony Bourdain thinks the country was better when fat kids could still get beaten up at school & that fat people are unamerican & more hate speech.

I like a good fat joke as much as anybody. Making fun of the lame, the dim-witted--surely there's a place for it in comedy"
Anthony Bourdain- Ruhlman.com 2007




Before you judge this post or before you decide it's just hard feelings or a vitirol make sure that you absolutly read the last paragraph before you click off.


I have to tell you honestly I've been disillusioned before but this one hit me a bit harder then most. It's probably been particularly upsetting because I have really both liked Bourdain, and been like him. I have also line cooked, we like many of the same people, the same music, we go to the same places and we both come from the same place.


I have bought every book he's written, I own every season of his show purchased through Itunes


I have to say for a guy who is a self-described recovering heroin addict and alcoholic and a smoker who also made a comment about seeing an emphysema doctor. I think you're a little fast to lay blame there eh big guy?


What gets me even more is that when he and Nugent filmed the segment together and this part ended up on the cutting room floor. In order for this thing to end up as a vodcast (video podcast), Bourdain had to have said to someone


“That part of the interview… when I dehumanized fat people...when I encouraged a day when we go back to making it OK to physically abuse overweight children, the part where I say people who are overweight are not good Americans. The part where I rather stupidly say that while I don’t support government oversight into the way people chose to eat and then yet in almost the same breath say that I admire the people who want to put the fat tax into law. I really want to go out of my way to make sure that message gets out there”. It's so important to me to dehumanize overweight people that I want to set aside time just to make sure that part got heard. "

I mean something like that had to have happened because I really do not think that his producers wanted that out or thought it would lead anywhere good. He says that he does have a great deal of creative control and apparently this is how he wanted to use that control...To say that.


I also know that it’s probably useless to point out that the fat tax actually is government oversight of peoples food. It’s called the Twinkie tax for a reason.


I find it particularly ironic that a guy who makes his living doing food porn and whose show is essentially high end and exotic gluttony is also the same guy who thinks he should have something to say to people who overeat.


Not to mention that he is also admittedly a recovering heroin addict, alcoholic and thief. Though he drinks enough still, that the recovering part is definitely in question A guy who talked about being afraid of losing his meds on a rafting show and who talked about how pissed off his emphysema doctor will be when he sees the episode where he’s smoking a hookah is for sure someone who should be lecturing the world on proper health and social conduct.



I know that that he has a basis for superiority, what with the fact that he gave up smoking for his new kid, And then when bloggers found pictures of him smoking on set he intimidated them into removing the content . Is that Unamerican?.


If fat people are un-American then why aren’t smokers unpatriotic as well? Don’t people with emphysema and people who are reliant on meds also drain the system?


I tell you what scares me, what scares me is not the fat people on the airplane it’s the drunks with emphysema who are passed out in the isle blocking egress because their lungs can’t handle getting up and running for the door and their also too fucked up to find it.



It also seems like his fatphobia is a recurrent theme with him. Again with egress thing

Look in this 2006 article in Salon "

If you're blocking egress from a burning building or taking up half my seat on a plane that is not a lifestyle choice. That is a menace to society."

Man that’s bordering on a neurosis. Also calling overweight people a Menace to Society always only makes me thing of this scene except with everyone over 400 lbs driving scooters and topless. How many fat people are you sitting next to on a day-to-day basis man? Enough to warrant that I guess.


So fat people are selfish and they are worthy of ridicule, abuse and financial penalties.


So says the guy who wrote books talking about how he shamelessly spent his time shooting dope into his veins, hiring his friends and taking the lifetime investments that the owners of the restaurants that he worked for had made in him when he knew they were failing.



In "The nasty bits" he wrote that he knew that he people who were paying him we're going to fail and he rode them like a Viking death ship until it perished where he ran like a ship rat to his next victims. I'm sad to say that this type of thing is now becoming more and more unamerican but it still sounds like maybe he should be more humble. What's ethical about running people who trust you dry?


Bourdain says of his own drug use

I only mention my junkie past in my books because I make a lot of bold, hyperbolic statements and so it's important to remind people who's talking. They need to know that I don't have an impeccable, or even respectable, background.

After the above I would have never guessed



And, hey speaking of misplaced trust include in that the woman he was married to for 30 years who had to put up with all his bullshit, who he just blew right off to marry a woman almost not old enough to even be his daughter.



Is disloyalty for someone you were with during the hard times UnAmerican? 30 years, his ex wife who lived with him and loved him when he was a junkie and when he couldn’t hold down a steady job, couldn’t afford to pay the rent and after all that time...


Lets look at some other pearls. Says no to stopping the production of Foie Gras but also says he is opposed to animal cruelty.


Says Vegans are" Rude , motivated by fear and antisocial" and “That it's an insult to impoverished people everywhere to refuse to eat meat when you travel and ignore their food choices when you're in visiting countries “ More that Veganism has no benefits and in fact can’t be good at all for the planet"

When it's pointed out to him that actually it would be better for the planet and the impoverished countries of people did not eat meat he then replies with


"What's so great about that? I'm a radical environmentalist; I think the sooner we asphyxiate in our own filth, the better. The world will do better without us, when the blight of humanity is removed. That would be my academic argument to that."

And an academic you are at that sir.


My last point before summation. Here is Tony three years ago lean and trim



And here's a picture of Tony today

What is different? No, it couldn’t be that his face just looks like he put about 50 pounds of cream cheese up his ass, or perhaps that’s not it I'm being insensitive and it's actually the steroids he has to take for emphysema. Should we understand it butterface? If Tony gets really fat will he stick by his opinion's?



I would like to think that the difference between he and I is not that I'm also not weak, sometimes in many of the same ways but is more that I know and admit to my weaknesses, failings and ignorance.


And knowing how weak, how ignorant I can be …and how badly I can fail I do not ever go and make any sort of ignorant public statement condoning violence or mistreatment or second class status of any group and I especially make sure not to judge groups that I do not or can not for whatever reason understand. What it probably really is more then anything though is that I admired this man and I'm really fucking disappointed.




People are overweight for as many different reasons as people have other weaknesses. The fact that they have a visible problem an opposed to someone who has an illness that is invisible like a mental disorder, should not make them anymore of less value or any more a target then anyone else. In an age where we accept people for having sexual addictions and even gorify them and when we are supposed to understand why someone being a substance abuser or a kleptomaniac is not a lifestyle choice but an illness. We as a society don't give obese people that same dignity or basic courtesy.



Everyone deserves the same protection and the same open mind that you would give any man or woman who suffered any more understandable illness, mental or physical.




That’s where I think Mr. Bourdain was way the hell out of line, that’s why I think he owes his audience an apology and that’s why until he does apologize which sadly will be never . I'll never spend another dollar on his products or watch any Bourdain shows or read any books.


The real shame he should be feeling if he cared at all is that after three best selling books and two wildly popular TV series hasn't he figured out yet that people listen to what he says and take him seriously despite his arguments on why people should not?





I expected Ted Nugent to be Ted Nugent…what I did not expect was for Anthony Bourdain to be Ted Nugent.





For those of you with no access to Youtube at work you can download a PDF of the transcript of this video here or you can watch a quicktime version or download the actual podcast from his site HERE * keep in mind that the podcasts get archived after a few months so hopefully the YouTube video will stay up . If it doesn't and you really need to see this to believe it then send me an email I have the orginal file .

Friday, October 24, 2008

Ron Howard is awesome.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

To the person leaving anonymous angry threatening messages

Whoever you are, it is obvious that you think you know me. While I have to say the things that you touch on are rather interesting it's not anything that any person interested in finding me couldn't locate by spending a few hours doing web searches.

You're tying to make me feel violated, you are failing, and it's more obvious that you want me to think that your judgment of me as some sort of malicious person matters.

First, you are a coward. I have an email address and I have a website that allows anyone to contact me directly. You have the balls to call me out on shit and yet at the same time you do not have the balls to actually use a real email address or actually out yourself. You say you’re going to write to this person or that person and you'll find me and post this or that and cost me my job etc. Take your best shot...go ahead and do it. You're a yellow pussy and I am not ashamed of anything I've done. And If I get really tired of you I'll grab your IP and find you and shut you down.

Not everything I've done in my life are things that I've been proud of. I have made mistakes that I wish I could fix and I have unintentionally hurt people. I have let people down and been let down.

I have done things I never thought I would do...when you're in the eye of a hurricane you're not thinking of anything beyond the fact the eye is only half the storm yet to come, and I went and was very lucky to have found a port in the storm in my wife and family .


So you found a few web pages, read it and decide to give me your opinion ,good, go off and hack my PC, go on and do whatever you feel you can ..But, show yourself and talk to me or you’ll never get a response from me . I’ll be deleting any messages or anonymous email I'm bored with you

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Sorry




You can help though.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

LHC Collider Explained Via Rap

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Don't believe the hype

Sunday, September 07, 2008

I can has election please?

Friday, September 05, 2008

A meme I can get behind .

Instructions: (from The Very Good Taste Blog)

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.



First Meme I've ever done. You finally got me.


1. Venison
2. Nettle tea-Nope
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare I love it so much. Can't find it in Canada
5. Crocodile Very center of the tail is kinda like lobster, the rest is like rubbery chicken. I've had good sausages made out of gator..in Disney World of all Places( that cool seafood place EPCOT has in the living seas
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho( if it's weird and from southeast Asia I've eaten it. I can see this is going to be a very bold post.On that however, Pho is not at all weird it's like a hot spicy breakfast soup noodle.I ate it for breakfast anyway. Pho rocks )
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi-It's curried potatoes and cauliflower-How can you not have tried it?
15. Hot dog from a street cart Hello NYC in the house!
16. Epoisses-No, but I love European Cheese. I just haven't gotten to it yet.
17. Black truffle- More expensive then gold.
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes-Oy, I lived in Woodstock NY when i was young. A big yes and a slightly nauseous lurch
19. Steamed pork buns- Oh, god I love them so.
20. Pistachio ice cream-Of course
21. Heirloom tomatoes- Funky Tomatoes? Of course what snooty New York organic chef hasn't
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras - Killing me here . So hungry. Tortured Goose Liver?... Yes please.
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese On a dare yes, My wife used to eat that shit. I only hate two things. People who are insensitive to other cultures and the Dutch. Damn Dutch wife.
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper- Yes and I paid. I was cooking Jerk Chicken and I almost freakin died. By the way I also suggest you stay away from ornamental peppers. Those sumbitches are ornamental for a reason.
27. Dulce de leche
28 Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda-
Italian hot sauce it's like you people aren't even trying.
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
funny or sadly enough the first time I tried this was also in Disney world
33. Salted lassi -
I fucking love Lassi- Salted with Rosewater, melon whatever cold yogurt on a hot day is like manna from heaven
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar-
a Cohiba Churchill no less. Not that Honduran shit either.
37. Clotted cream tea
Oh God yes. <- I agree
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat .
42. Whole insects -
On purpose and accidentally as well. Everyone can technically answer yes to this one. When do we get to the fetal duck eggs?
43. Phaal-
Hot curry isn't my favorite ..Good with Lamb on a hot day though. For some reason hot curry cools you on a hot day. Could just be me.
44. Goat’s milk -
Goat Milk cheese is like crack too
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more-
usually one in my Kitchen
46. Fugu- I
was honor bound to by someone treating me as a guest in Osaka . You can safely pass on the FUGU . I would NEVER do it again. Eating fugu is just stupid, the taste is not stupendous and it can kill you.
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut -
Can someone remind my wife that when she talks about ex boyfriends they are not ex SO's they are just ex boyfriends. Or they should just be referred to as " people she dated before me"
50. Sea urchin-
The best Sushi
51. Prickly pear
52.
Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer-
LOVE ALL INDIAN CHESE& BREAD
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal -
Thousands before I had my friggen stomach removed. Which I probably had to have done just becuase of the fucking Big Mac Meals. Not for years though.
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8%
ABV I live in Canada.
59. Poutine
I live in Canada
60. Carob chips
Ick when I was dieting
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads-
Oh man the best I ever had was in Venezuela. Worth getting off the boat in Caracas for that alone.
63.
Kaolin "I always thought that Kaolin was rocks, so no".- I thought it was a silca based pesticide so no for me too.
64.
Currywurst - "I don't even want to know"- I'm with you baby .
65. Durian
Like smelly nasty fruity awesome cheesy crack Nasty fruit.
66. Frogs’ legs-
taste like Chicken
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
" If God were real, these would be staples." - Again I agree with Jen
68. Haggis-
Would you believe I have a can of Haggis in the cupboards actually two vans one is vegetarian Haggis. Canned haggis . I don't think that will be anything but decorative. Yes, I've had the stuff.
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe N
ot all it's cracked up to be- I'm going to go with my wuife on this one. Booring . even the stuff in Holland isn't all that serious.
74.
Gjetost, or brunost-No, I love Norway and love cheese I just never got to it.
75. Roadkill -Yes, and Mom I will never forgive you from making me eat that shit that Ed found. My tong tasted funny for a week., Bad venison is fucking nasty bad.
76. Baijiu-
Rice wine!
77.
Hostess Fruit Pie-Apple and I prefer Drakes to Hostess. Table talk is good as well
78. Snail-
I fucking love Escargot
79. Lapsang souchong-
Chinese tea
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum -
Thai Shrimp and Chicken soup! This is like a walk through my favorite vacations
82. Eggs Benedict
83.
Pocky - Japanese Cookies.
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
Thomas Keller no less
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
Dandelion salad etc..
89. Horse-
Twice and there's nothing wrong with it.
90. Criollo chocolate-
The stuff they make good chocolate liquor out of isn't it?
91. Spam
I have some in the kitchen. Mostly to disgust my wife. .
92. Soft shell crab .-
Yea,but I hate cooking the damn things. It's pretty cruel, toss em into a hot frying pan with some clarified butter and kick of wine. Plus the damn pan spits at you allot
93. Rose harissa-
In Africa
94.Catfish-
Ugly Fish of the gods- I had the best in a town in Missouri that has less people then read this blog
95. Mole poblano-
I'm a New Yorker
96. Bagel and lox -
I'm a NY Jew.
97. Lobster Thermidor-
Oh god yes.
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
In Jamaica no less.
100. Snake-
Rattlesnake even

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Monday, September 01, 2008

Monday, August 18, 2008

Special Election Briefing: 5 Things You Should Know

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Another broken promise.Sorry I have excuses

Ok look. I know I have been promising some new content and updates and yes an end to the political propaganda but I am honesty held up by two major events that are on the cusp of occurring right now and so until they have come to pass then I'm going to wait before putting anything outspoken up here.

A few things I do want to address and some questions I have been holding up on answering.

1- This website and onemansjourney or fatjewguy.com as you now know it is moving away from being just a gastric bypass political obesity issues whatever blog and is going to morph into being a more standard personal blog. I'll be speaking about many of the same issues but only from a personal basis. I've been posting content on a few different blogs that have been outdated, trying to consolidate where I was going to devote my energy (what spare I have) and each of my previous pages have each had their own targets. Humor, professional or other issues. So I have chosen this blog to morph into my personal one. It will still contain personal issues as it relates to gastric bypass and whatnot but only as it related to me personally. More on that and a new blog/site yet to come that seeks to have a dialog with people from all ends of the spectrum that speaks directly about issues of obesity, weight loss surgery and sociological weight issues.

If you are interesting in being a contributor for this new blog to come please contact me.



2- I have been hit by a number of questions about my admittedly heavy hand when it comes to comment moderation or to put it directly. I more often then not choose not to publish comments but rather answer them directly and actually prefer people to email me rather then allow discussions to take place in the comments area. I still leave it open for the people who haven't been able to find ways to email me or just are not interested in doing so but 99.9% of the time that comment will go unpublished and will be answered by me directly. The reason for this is rather simple. On a great many blogs, I feel that the dialogs or debates that occasionally occur around posts that are particularity sensitive take away from the actual post that leads the discussion. Hence, the inevitable flame wars in my mind detract from the whole thing. Normally if I get a particularly good comment or email I'll make that its own post. So there is the answer to that question.


3- The thing with Junk food Science- That one generated a lot of people asking the same thing. Yes, it was I.. How many Mark Blei's that write about this stuff can there possibly be? I did not link or comment on that article that Sandy posted until I drafted a reply to someone in the post today. That article the one that had the email with my name on it was not discussed here prior to today because I had nothing to add to what she said past the correspondence we exchanged and she publish with my permission . I still don’t have anything to add to it other then in the post below which was actually drafted more then a month ago . I did not nor do I think I have to validate what she wrote on her site by commenting any further then I have on what was in her article on her website even if it did have my name on it. I was not going out of my way to not mention her post before today. I just thought it stood by itself without any additional commentary required by me


Let me be clear it was I and was published with my permission. The materials stands by itself I have nothing else to add or say about it. . It was what it was; she didn’t change a word of mine when she published our correspondence so that being the case what else were any of you waiting for? It seems like some people think I needed to re address what was already addressed on her site. What am I missing?




4- A number of people and this may relate to something in the news I have missed have asked me if I count calories. So the answer is yes and no. I struggle in between being both ok with the way I am and not living in constant fear of having a weight gain. But I also do live in constant fear of a weight gain and would be lying to you if I said I did not. Mostly the last three years or so I spend my time worrying about the fact that I am not eating enough am underweight or malnourished and for the most part that is where my energy goes on foodstuff. . But there have been times or weeks when I have had my weight jump past my personal comfort level. What my personal comfort level is has nothing at all to do with what would theoretically be a healthy weight for me it's a personal thing that may in fact have some issues rooted in a small case of body dimorphia. The honest to god truth is I haven’t gone through all this bullshit to be overweight again…not even technically. The BMI index says that at 6 feet (I’m 5, 11 and three quarters. So close enough.) my normal BMI should be between 18.5 and 24.9 to remain in the normal range. This means at a weigh of 184 lbs I fall into being technically overweight.



I hang out at between 171 and 179 lbs. When I have been either very good about nutrition or very bad about junk food I have had times where I have had a jump up into the 180’s in fact I’m there at the moment (due to some great soup that was made specifically to help me put on a few pounds as well as a bad run with Reese’s pieces candy .. I know it sounds like a joke but it is not) Anyway that run put me into the 180’s. Before anyone starts I know that’s still regarded as small for a six foot guy. My fiancée would prefer me at 200 Lbs to be truthful and I also know that a great deal of that weight could be extra skin and I know that most people, I included think that BMI chart was developed somewhere in Auschwitz .


I don’t fucking care. I’m not gong to be in any way technically overweight for any reason after this fucking hell I’ve put myself through and so if get near the 180 lbs mark I start counting calories because there’s a good way to take off pounds which is a slow decline that keeps me eating and just consuming less then I burn. Being an office guy I don’t get out much and living in a cold weather country well, let just say that winters are long .so the good way takes a long time and is hard and requires me to count calories to make sure I have enough but not to much . The easy way is just to stop eating. This happens of it’s own accord enough that I don’t encourage that in my body, when I lose weight that way I’m actually losing muscle mass so it’s a balance and when I need to go back from 180 to the 170’s I’ll count calories and try and slowly decline so I don’t lose mass. That is the only reason I will ever count calories though and I suggest that you don’t either count calories or use the BMI chart but rather be healthy. What I say and what I do obviously are two differing things. I allow myself to be human.



5- Last thing. Many people who write me ask me for exact things from my surgical record. How much distal or how much proximal or how large exactly is my pouch, how much intestine and cut from the beginning of the tract or the end of it what about this or that nerve or method. I have no clue at all nor am I interested in knowing what the measurements are and what is where is not going to change anything at this point and would only be important if I was seeking a revision which scares me just less then signing on for experimental combined brain, heart and testicular surgery. I’m sure someone has it somewhere that it can be gotten from, but it is of no real use for me to look at what has been done because it’s not going to change. I use my weight and blood work combined with nutrition in order to determine what changes I need to make and then try and change them and I then either succeed or don’t.



I know many people put stock into how much of what was cut off and where but frankly it gives me the creeping willies to know exactly how much of me is laying in a dump in New Jersey somewhere so I don’t ask those questions nor do I have a copy of my surgical records on hand that I can quote you from. Frankly, I do not even know where one of my surgeons is . He decided I’m told that he no longer wanted to be a Doctor according to a secretary at my nurse practitioners old office though he still appears on the practice website. (Maybe they guy just never wants to see me again. The feeling is mutual), the other one who was a nice guy, and who I wished were my primary moved his practice way far away from where I was in NY when I had my surgery done to Long Island.



I’ll come back and say more as soon as I can. I have a move coming end of this month and as I said at the start am waiting on some official things to occur before I start talking more definitely about future plans.

.

Someone on a web group linked the article that featured me on Junkfood Science

And when linking it . She described me as an unhappy customer. I kinda took umbrage at that and said that I was not so much an unhappy customer as I was an aggravated customer she called me on it, she's another blogger who's views on WLS I respect and she said that I certainly sounded unhappy. And if I wasn't what do would I use as the point of difference between being whatever I am and an unhappy customer.

This was my answer ( edited)

So to address your post down there. You are right. I'm not happy. What you asked is if I'm an unhappy customer. That's a different thing.

I'm unhappy that I had to do it at all, miserable in fact. I'm at times unhappy with the life I have with my bypass BUT, to me this was a necessary operation. I really think that if I had not done it , I would not be alive today or I would be worse then I am today certainly.

The main point of separation I use between an unhappy customer and I is that I waited past 4 times when they wanted to start the process of getting me my first date on the table. My dad took my first date, I said no the next two times they offered me a date. On the year of my blog I decided to restart the process because I had fought all I could and had reached the conclusion that I would not have a good quality of life or almost any without it.

I was in the Chemo stage, the stage where your at last resort and with the understanding that the cure might well be worse then the illness but have to try something because whatever I was doing wasn't working and things were getting worse. Take some risks because the alternative is looking very badly. To me thats the essence of the whole thing. I was well aware that their could be significant drawbacks before I went on the table. I even had started to read some of the gone wrong groups.

At the same time ,my surgical experience sucked, my post gastric bypass life until well after the first year was very scary, really horrifying. So I think me portraying myself on the blog as an unhappy customer is not as true as it is that I'm more unsure now three years later as to what my ,medical outlook is going to be then I was before.

That and I still have the fear of being fat which most people don't have if they have a hard post bypass experience. If that's being an unhappy customer in your book then in your book I'll take that designation

What scares me or more correctly pisses me off is that the industry is trying to make this into something that it is not.I have said this and said this and it bears repeating again, because each time I say it in a new way someone writes me a letter saying this time they got it.

I have problems with this being looked at as an elective surgery. Long-term I would like to see laws stating when you can and when you cannot suggest or advocate WLS surgery to a patient. The way it was portrayed and in fact the way that 60 minutes portrayed it is that, it's going to solve all your problems, you'll be thin, your sex life will be better , your life will be everything that you wanted it to be, but it's not. See the industry says that they try and make people understand that having this surgery is not going to solve all their problems and I would say if they aren't saying it they are more then certainly suggesting it or intimating that.

Lets hypothesize that in my medical records there was an indication that I had a history of depression and anxiety and was being treated for such, and might have even been hospitalized for it at some point in the past. Could be that, addiction could be in there as well, we are making up something -but I know enough people who's records had them in there that my point is still valid.I other words without giving out names I know post Gastric Bypass patients who have been at some recent point within the last 12 - 24 months been hospitalized for mental illness , depression, addiction etc. They seem to have more trouble then almost any other group we have discussed.

In my mind there should be a red light list that says if your gastric bypass candidate has been treated for depression, anxiety, addiction ..Whatever within the last 3 years then you as a surgeon must explicitly say "Hey, I see you have a history of having some depression or whatever. I want to explicitly tell you that even if your thin we have found that long-term if you aren't happy with your life fat, your most likely not going to become magically happy thin. It might take awhile for the honeymoon phase to go past but if you and your wife don't get along now, Your going to have the same issues thin,. Maybe more."

And just like when someone wants to convert to Judaism traditionally, you have to turn the person away three times before you even start the process. The doctor should say that these indications, depression, whatever, make you ineligible for this surgery unless you go through this intensive outpatient program that requires you to be there three or four times a week for at least six months and if you do that and if the feedback I get from those counselors then says that your in the right place to do this, and If I and you both still think this is the best option for you, then I will reconsider you for this surgery. But if you can't show me that you want this bad enough to take these steps to keep yourself mentally in check after the surgery by doing some upfront work, then I consider you too high a risk to do this surgery on you.

When I went in and for my one of my surgical consults( I went to a few before choosing). I was in a room with about 25 other women no older then 30 or so. As we waited for the thing to begin all the entire screen showed was a rotating picture screensaver with before and after pictures, rolling one after the other. Sad unhappy, unsmiling before pictures and happy, happy after pictures.


.How can you not say people are being screwed in their head. I counted 15 of those women who looked sad in their before pictures on that screen who were standing at the alter with a handsome man in their after pictures. Your not saying that that particular Doctor wasn't trying to intimate that losing weight via this surgery will find you a husband? I mean one , ok but fif-fucking-teen??

The discussion in the presentation was mainly for some reason about the after op diet, meaning the first six weeks, And then they said " after that you just eat whatever it is you like ,except for very fatty or sugary foods and in smaller plates ( but that won't matter you won't have any hunger) Oh and about one out of every 500 people die from this. (But Hey! one out of 500 die having heart surgery.) And some talk about dumping and whammo...Who wants to have their consultation with Dr. Perfect now?. Now that is not the Doc I picked but I assure you the consultation I went to was not that far off and in fact when I tried to go past the allotted, what? 15-20 minutes it got a bit hostile. Like how dare I have questions about stuff not covered.

So I'm not so much unhappy with my experience because independently of my surgeon and my process, I read everything and looked at everything and as they put me under I myself without any real help from medical personnel went out thinking, "You may just wake up worse and that may never go away" and as I thought." I'm ok with that".

I wonder how many people woke up thinking. "Ok, where's my handsome new husband? and were a bit put off by the fact that if they were like me they couldn't eat at all for….well months after the surgery.

And I had a bunch of people who had the surgery the same month as me in a different support forums call me and were all like" Dude, I can't eat" I'm at nine weeks and I'm not eating at al. Much less "on a normal diet just smaller portions", I can't keep mashed potatoes down. I feel like I'm going to pass out when I stand up.

Those people they , they were unhappy customers IMHO because their Doctors failed to give them a realistic expectation of what post surgery life was like and they failed to do their own research and what being thin really means in the face of having yourself cut open and modified extensively.

I say I'm not an Unhappy customer because I went to sleep on that table knowing what could happen, what pisses me off is it took me four years to get past all the bullshit until I felt that good with it and then still, until you experience something, you really don't know how it's going to effect you and someone should be pushing that in the pre meetings as well. .

So even though allot of it sucks I went in there at the time with as much information that wasn't bullshit as I could find. Now three years later, I find that most of what I was relying on then was pretty much bullshit but at the time I had done as much homework as I thought could be done and I had spoken to doctors who thought it was a smart idea and doctors who thought it was butchery and I listened to them all and made my decision.


And now that it's turned out to be harder then I would have liked and I'm more unsure of myself then I would have preferred to be, am I an unhappy customer compared with the multitude of women I know who found out that the husband who appeared out of thin air when they got thin vanished just as quickly when they went fucking crazy?

Or that they guy they were in love with before the surgery . The guy they were doing this for so they could be together longer and have a better life and better love. Many of those guys just couldn't handle the process or whatever. Compared to them, I'm doing really well, I knew that over 80% of people end up divorced if they are married when they have this operation. I could not predict if or how I would go nuts . But I was well, aware of the fact that I might.


I still think now that some part of the aftereffects of WLS will kill me, But as of now I'm still pretty sure that I would have been on this earth less time then I would have been had I not done this. As of now psychologically and in most cases physically I'm doing much better then before and there were big huge bumps in the road. HUGE!! And the fact that I am doing good psychologically and physically?

That could change tomorrow, it might, and I reserve the right to change my mind. That doesn't make the 60 minutes thing any less of a lie and it doesn't get in the way of what I wrote Sandy or what she puts in her blog. They might be different sides of the same thing or different shades of the same color but I'm pretty sure I'm saying now what I said there.

Mostly what I say totally sticks regardless of if your saying that I'm sounding like an unhappy customer, or if you accept my version of not being one. To me that's a qualification that I don't think I've really attained because I just haven't said those words yet. Those words are "I wish I had not done this and if I could go back in time and undo this I would in a heartbeat."


And until the time, I say that I have issues with the process and how it's explained but am not an unhappy customer, I think the process is wrong and needs fixing, I think that 60 minutes thing was a violation of journalistic integrity but I wouldn't exactly say I'm an unhappy customer. I prefer to think instead I'm an informed one who wishes at times that things were easier.

Best Wishes,
Mark

Friday, June 06, 2008

Actual real content coming next week.

New blog, new content , updated stuffs and no naked pictures of me ever.


( but thanks for asking)

Monday, May 19, 2008

You want to know what my life is really like? This is it.

Friday, May 16, 2008

BBC article - Fat people are ruining the world

Overweight man
The world's obese population is rising

Obese people are contributing to the world food crisis and climate change, experts say.

The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine calculated the obese consume 18% more calories than average.

They are also responsible for using more fuel, which has an environmental impact and drives up food prices as transport and agriculture both use oil.

The result is that the poor struggle to afford food and greenhouse gas emissions rise, the Lancet reported.

It comes as the World Health Organization predicts the obese population will double by 2015 to 700m.

Transport and food policy and the importance of sustainable transport must not be overlooked
Dr Phil Edwards, report co-author

In the UK, nearly a quarter of adults are classed obese, twice as many as there were in the 1980s.

The team found that obese people require 1,680 daily calories to sustain normal energy and another 1,280 to maintain daily activities - a fifth more than normal.

The higher consumption of food has a two-fold effect, researchers said.

First of all the increasing demand for food, drives up production.

This means that agricultural processes are using more oil to meet demand, which contributes to the rising cost of fuel.

The cost of fuel is then passed on in the cost of food, making it more difficult for poorer areas to afford it.

Prices

What is more, the researchers said obese people are likely to rely on transport more and put more strain on that transport because of their mass, which again drives up prices and usage.

But the researchers said there was a solution.

Phil Edwards, who co-authored the article, said: "Urban transport policies that promote walking and cycling would reduce food prices by reducing the global demand for oil and promotion of a normal weight.

And they added: "Decreased car use would reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

"Transport and food policy and the importance of sustainable transport must not be overlooked."

But Dr David Haslam, of the National Obesity Forum, said it was "stretching it a bit" to blame the obese in the way that the study appeared to do.

"Really, it is discriminatory towards obese people. They are an easy target at the moment, but I think the causes of climate change and rising food prices is much more complex."

People ask me why I immigated to Canada . I'm so tired.


Obama Faces Racism in West Virginia - Watch the top videos of the week here

.
And yes , I'm still and American an yes, And if I can manage it, if they don't change the laws about duel citizenship then I'll always still be an American. I'm tired, tired of watching the land that I love so much self destruct. I'm tired of watching the rest of the world pass us by in ethical morality. In humanity and I'm tired of letting the George Bushes in the world set the tone in my country.

Revolution isn't such a bad concept if it's done for the right reason's. It's time for a change, but right now I'll help that change from another country. people say if you don't like America then leave it. I've spent the last two years immigrating to Canada , I could have taken my Fiancee and immigrated them to America. But this is the America they see, this America scares them.

Barak Obama if he does get elected , might be that revolution. I have my absentee ballot .

Learn truth and Vote ...Vote not based on smear campaign's, vote not on what your television feeds you. Go out, travel,learn..ask people in other countries why they fear America and then make your decision.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Dove's 'Real Beauty' Pics Could Be Big Phonies

Photo Retoucher Says He Improved Images in Controversial Campaign

BATAVIA, Ohio (AdAge.com) -- Dove's "real beauties" may not be so real after all, at least by the account of a renowned airbrush artist.
If true, the allegations that the Dove 'real beauties' were airbrushed could seriously undermine an effort that already has subjected Unilever to considerable consumer and activist backlash in recent months.
If true, the allegations that the Dove 'real beauties' were airbrushed could seriously undermine an effort that already has subjected Unilever to considerable consumer and activist backlash in recent months.


In a May 12 profile in The New Yorker posted online, Pascal Dangin of New York's Box Studios is quoted as saying he extensively retouched photos used in the Campaign for Real Beauty, which, if true, could seriously undermine an effort that already has subjected Unilever to considerable consumer and activist backlash in recent months.

Models 'a challenge'
"I mentioned the Dove ad campaign that proudly featured lumpier-than-usual 'real women' in their undergarments," wrote Lauren Collins in the New Yorker article. "It turned out that it was a Dangin job. 'Do you know how much retouching was on that?' he asked. 'But it was great to do, a challenge, to keep everyone's skin and faces showing the mileage but not looking unattractive.'"

A spokeswoman for Unilever didn't immediately return calls and e-mail for comment. An attempt to reach Mr. Dangin was unsuccessful at press time. But a spokeswoman for the campaign's creator, Ogilvy & Mather, cast doubt on the account of the celebrity fashion photo retoucher, though she said the agency is still attempting to collect details of his work, if any, on the ads.

"We are unsure right now what he did," the Ogilvy spokeswoman said. "He works with Annie Leibovitz, the photographer. And we don't have any record of him actually working on any of the Dove campaign.

"There was no retouching of the women," she said. "If there was a hair that was up in the air, that might have been the kind of retouching that was done. But until I know what he actually worked on, I can't comment on it."

Leibovitz appears unscathed
While Mr. Dangin long has been known to work with Ms. Leibovitz, she wasn't the photographer on the earlier ads in the campaign that appear to have been referenced in the New Yorker profile.

Ms. Leibovitz was the photographer in a December 2005 shoot that ultimately became the basis for the Dove Pro-Age version of the campaign that broke in early 2007. That effort featured women in their 50s and 60s nude, not in their underwear.

If true, the news could be devastating to the nearly 4-year-old Dove campaign. The most famous execution to date -- and one that won both a Cyber and Film Grand Prix for Unilever at the International Advertising Festival last year -- has been the "Evolution" viral video, which shows an attractive but rumpled woman transformed through a variety of makeup, styling and retouching tricks into a billboard bombshell. The kicker: "No wonder our perception of beauty is distorted."

The viral has been viewed more than 15 million times online and seen by more than 300 million people globally in various channels of distribution, including news coverage, by the estimation of Ogilvy Chairman-CEO Shelly Lazarus.

Last year's follow-up to "Evolution," "Onslaught," took a harsher tone in criticizing the impact that distorted images in beauty advertising have in encouraging such problems as eating disorders.

Axe to grind
That in turn led to charges of hypocrisy from the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood, because Unilever's Axe extensively uses buxom, attractive models in sexually suggestive ads.

A parody of the video, "Onslaught[er]," also became fodder for the environmental activist group Greenpeace to wage a successful effort in recent weeks to get Unilever to back a moratorium on clearing of Indonesian rain forests to grow palm oil. The group claimed Unilever, a major buyer of Indonesian palm oil, has been killing orangutans through its purchasing practices.

The Pro-Age effort in particular also provoked controversy, and Dove's sales growth appeared to slow, then stall last year during the Campaign For Real Beauty's third year, according to Information Resources Inc. data.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Things I've learned so far this week

1- Don't try and talk with either your fiancee or your 12 year old soon to be stepdaughter after having spilled a drink on your crotch area earlier that day...Ain't nothing getting through until you deal with that.

2- Don't insist that, yes, in fact the cat does have a speech impediment if you have any hope of seeing your fiancee naked. it's apparently a mood killer.

3- When calling the FBI about getting your fingerprint's taken so as to prove to a foreign government that your not a wanted criminal it's apparently bad to say" For as often as I've done this in the last few months I should think you guys would know me by name by now" If your looking at keeping a low profile ..or ever, you know, flying again without a rectal exam.

4- When your fiancee has finally gotten past the cat comment as made in point two, don't as the clothing starts to fly in a moment of idle pondering give voice to the thought " Man , you would think a half gallon of Prune juice would get the fucking mail moving. eh?" While you'll score points for using the proper Canadian "Eh?" it's not at all true that love is quite that absolute.

5- When admiring oneself in the mirror wearing your Circa 1985 eyeglasses because you obliterated your current pair by sleepwalking over them. Don't turn to your beloved and say
"You know, I kinda look like Mark David Chapman in these." and upon her look of horror do not further dig yourself in by saying" What you don't like The Catcher in the Rye?"

6- When in a company wide meeting, don't use your personal on line contact form* as an example of why on line contact forms prevent spam, thereby giving every douche bag in your company with a free minute on their hands the opportunity to spam you with gay porn URL's .

7- *= When submitting this post to places like Digg, Fark and Reddit to show people how clever and funny you are, don't link your personal on line contact form to...your personal on line contact form. Thereby giving every douche bag on those site's with a free minute on their hands the opportunity to spam you with gay porn URL's.

8- Try and remember that when your talking to your fiancee and recalling a comment she made -by saying with a smarmy asshole smile on your face "Why thats sounds almost Anti-American darlin." That she is in fact a Canadian.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Found on an advice board

I need help

I am getting married in three months and I have 9 of my 10 maids of honor already asked. The problem is my sister. She is excessively obese and I fear her presence will ruin the pictures so I was going to ask her to be a hostess instead. She has been asking about dresses and stuff and I keep putting her off. What would be the nicest way to do it. I really want my wedding to be special, I mean I am going to remember it forever. Thanks.
______________________________________________________________
My response---

Subhater The problem is my sister

The problem is that even though she's your sister your still willing to relegate her to the background because your ashamed that people will see your fat sister in your pictures and gross everyone out or will it just gross you out? Or your ashamed that someone who shares DNA with you has the dreaded fat? The only thing you can do is be honest.

Tell her that because she has a weight problem you see her as less of a human being and as such you want her to go hide somewhere when the camera comes out. In fact why not just give her a coupon for Pizza Hut that day and get her to take a miss on the whole thing.

So fucking cruel ..The horrible shit is I know people like you exist and are so vain . One day sister your going to wake up and your man is going to make a little joke about the cottage cheese that's growing on your thighs and your world will fall apart and your going to start to have an inkling of what your sister feels like 24 hours a day.

No my mistake you'll be to busy rushing to get Lipo done while your sister will be out living her life and trying to get over the fact that her closest blood relative doesn't love her because she's fat....



Why is it when South Africa had an aparthied system we all boycotted it, yet India has had one forever thats's apparently not worthy of a boycott

In this Horrible CNN article a man pushed a 6 year old girl onto burning embers for walking on a road that wasn't designated for Untouchables? If the girl was put into a fire because she was walking in a white's only road the political outcry would serve to cripple India's already hurting economy and we would force it to change.

Friday, April 25, 2008

When did 60 Minutes stop doing news and start doing Infomercials?



.

It's taken me five days to get this post out. It's taken me five days to try not to make this post so full of vitriol and so that I could make a coherent point.

I waited five days so I could try and write this because I had to get my head straight.

See, as a Gastric Bypass blogger which I guess would be what I am, when I write here-I don't want to be radically of one unbending opinion. I want people who are considering doing this to come here and read what I say and believe that I'm not going to take a dump on something just because my experience is negative (which it has not been universally) - I want you dear reader to come here and not think I'm an anti-anything.

It's like (when you read an article by Anne Coulter)...you know that regardless of how valid a point is going to be, she's going to take a shit on it if it's suggested by a Democrat. That's not what I want to do. What I want to do is try and spread some information to conquer some of the disinformation which is being spread by people who on the whole have a hell of a lot more money and resources then I do, or more than anyone I know does.

The medical community makes a good deal of money on this type of surgery and because of that, frankly they want to present it in the best light possible.

I am saying that what you're being told is a partial truth that has some key important health related issues left out about bariatric surgery. And before you go and do this, I want you to know exactly what could possibly happen to you so that you can make the most informed decision on what you are going to do with your life as possible. – That’s why I and other people write these types of posts.

I’m not against the medical community, I’m grateful to it. I’m not (as someone suggested), trying to keep any more fat people from getting to be thin.

I don’t hate my surgeon more than hating his bedside manner.

He did what I asked him to do-and in fact, I make it a point to try not to hate at all.

I guess that what I am shooting for here is trying to be as unbiased as someone can be, and still be affected. I have a gastric bypass so there is only so much balancing I can do, because what I write has a slant of coming from my experience which is really only mine and not anyone else's, even if they have a gastric bypass. As I have pointed out ad nauseum, while there may be a commonality of side effects or complications, none of us have the same combination so we are each unique.

While to some extent I certainly write these articles for my own health, part of me hopes that I'm also writing it for yours. If you have had WLS, if you're considering having WLS, if you're a support person for someone who is considering or has had WLS, I want you to come here and get some real information. Because one thing I can assure you of and I promise no bias about is that what you see mostly in major media is misinformation- hell, to be honest- a great deal of it is bordering on blatant propaganda.

We bloggers, citizen journalists, nerds whatever... or at least most of the good ones try and get proper source material, look at the issue from both sides, sort the shit from the truth and then post an honest article based on the evidence that is available mixed with personal experience and to a certain extent then take our personal opinion and, well- we try and justify it. And if we cannot then and if we are doing this correctly and morally we don't publish the post, or we do and go back and edit it, or go back and delete it or something.

So here is what I want to know. Who Paid off Leslie Stahl? Or the producers of 60 minutes? Or the CBS Corporation to put that boldly biased piece of shit that they are trying to pass off as a news item?

Did someone catch a producer or someone of importance or maybe Leslie herself banging an underage prostitute or something? Is this the blood money they demanded in order to save someone's career? This dangerous commercial that is kissing the ass of every bariatric center and surgeon in the world. Because I can't see how any organization which wishes to have their news department looked on as actually reporting news in a fair and unbiased way… so they can maintain their journalistic integrity, would allow that over hyped, untrue, dangerous story to be presented in that way.

Yes, losing a great deal of weight via Gastric Bypass can cure diabetes (in a way). So can eating the pancreas hacked out of a small baby with a chain saw but I wouldn't quite say you should do that and yes, WLS will help with your apnea , so would cutting your head off at the neck but again I think that’s a bit extreme. Though apparently CBS news thinks that presenting what is arguably that equivalent in my opinion is fine.

But what really gets me is the one sided view of the whole thing. Where is anyone more then a year out on that panel eh? That's what I really want to know. Gastric bypass prevents cancer? Almost all cancers can be prevented by losing weight via WLS? Not just losing weight but losing weight specifically via WLS is what they talked about and nothing else. And if you think that there are not people too scared or ignorant to not have thought of the whole losing weight without WLS thing you are wrong. Some misguided soul who’s borderline overweight but paranoid is somehow going to have this done to themselves because of this thing they put out there. I suppose that prophylactic radiation or chemotherapy might prevent many cancers as well but I would again say that’s a very extreme answer for that.

If it is true Leslie that this surgery is such a lifesaver and a walk in the park, why couldn't you find one person who had this operation in say 2005 or 2006 and had them discuss their outcome or their feelings? Yea, ok...it cured Diabetes for some people- hell- it even cured it for me. You know what I have in place. I have at the least a very severe case of Hypoglycemia.

What I do know is that while I may not be a diabetic anymore , about three times a week I wake up at 2 or 4 AM needing sugar so badly that I have to crawl down my staircase for fear of falling down it, just to drink juice for an hour or two so I feel like I'm not going to drop dead on the spot, I keep hard candy by my bed because when it happens it feels like I'm going to die, and I thought that was really something that was very unique to me. But when I went out and talked to several nutritional experts on WLS it turns out that that's one of the most common things that happen to people who have WLS, but most WLS people are not as lucky to be sugar tolerant like I am-they have dumping syndrome instead. So what do those people do…when you cure them of diabetes but they have Hypoglycemia? So it's not Diabetes but it'll kill you just as dead and I saw nothing about that on 60 minutes.

Forget me, take the hundreds of thousands of people who have had WLS over the last five years alone and you're telling me that 60 minutes couldn't find one person to be on that panel that might have had a less than rosy experience, so they could give people some perspective before essentially putting in a bold endorsement of this procedure via faux scientific news? That fluff piece about how you should go and have your stomach chopped up, resectioned and stapled down and have a few feet of intestine rerouted? That’s a little funny isn't it?

Hell, I have sustained my weight loss. I've never gone over 175 since the day I hit that mark. I was operated on at 388, I’m three years post op, and if you will go back through this blog, I have never ever said yet that I am totally on the side of wishing that I had not done this. I mean I’ve had my days but I'm not seeking a reversal and am pretty sure that yes, knowing what I know now I might still do it again.

Even though for the most part it sucks and yeah, I still think it will probably kill me; I don’t know how much faster the weight related issues would have killed me. Maybe in the end it’s a wash. There is that whole quality of life thing though and right now to a point it’s still better than it was on my good days at nearly 400 pounds and I guess I will have to wait and see what happens with that.


Why didn't 60 minutes call someone like me? The Bariatric association didn't approve the call or something?


Don’t tell me that CBS couldn’t find another guy like me? Shit, my Mom always said that I was a unique little snowflake and I wanted to believe her.

But I’m not a unique little snowflake. There are plenty of people, some not even like me at past a year or further who are more happy, even thrilled with their experience who still could have provided some actual real perspective that yes, even though they were happy, that it's not a tea party and it is hard work- frustrating at best, possibly a mind fuck and at worst it could kill ya dead.

And even those of us with the decent outcomes (and I guess I would consider still putting myself there) because I feel ok most of the time would say that it's hard work and has a real strong emotional component that is in a great deal of the cases and for a great many people is sometimes overwhelmingly negative.

One question about suicide from an “expert” (when are surgeons experts on Psychology by the way?) who says," Yeah, well, we don't know about suicide yet, because some people realize that being fat wasn't all the problems they had in the world.” And then back to the parade of health benefits

I'm sure I'm not the only guy in the world who kept their weight off (but don't think that I won't be at all surprised if a year from now that changes too and I'll be equally unsurprised if it does not)…why couldn’t they have a few people a few years out? Maybe one, two people whose experience was less then rosy.

So know this. This clip above ...it's fluff, it has no real journalistic integrity, it's untrue and CBS should be shamed for presenting this to people like they have.

To reach out to me please send an email to blogger(at)fatjewguy(dot)com

Friday, April 18, 2008

And sometimes all you can do is cry- The sad ending of a weight-loss struggle; Husband doesn't regret wife undergoing gastric bypass: She had to do it

Via St Catharines Standard Click Here for Original Article

Cheryl Harvey has stopped eating. She vomits white foam.

Her medications have not stayed down for days. Without the Zoloft and the Lorazepam, her depression and panic are growing.

It is 3 1/2 months since she had gastric bypass surgery.

Those around Cheryl are concerned.

Is this what it's supposed to be like after the surgery?

"She really bottomed out and couldn't eat anything," says her husband, Don. "We began to suspect the stomach was closed off. Food wasn't going through properly."

He takes her to Hamilton General Hospital. Doctors suspect there

is something wrong with her gastric pouch, but nobody there is an expert. They send her to McMaster University Medical Centre to see a gastrointestinal specialist.

It is decided Cheryl needs to go back to Humber River Regional Hospital in Toronto where she had her bypass.

When she gets there, it is determined there is indeed a problem. She has a stricture. A tightening where her small bowel joins the gastric pouch.

"It's a very minor kind of thing," says Dr. John Hagen, her surgeon. "It happens fairly often and was very mild in Cheryl's case."

Cheryl is operated on for a second time. This procedure is quick. The stricture is opened. Cheryl is sent home the same day. Everyone is relieved when she immediately begins to eat again. For the first time in three weeks, she is able to digest food.

She says she can't feel her feet. They are tingling. Her left one is worse. She is afraid to stand or walk. Cheryl has had a lifelong fear of falling. Now, having gone so long without being able to keep her meds down, Cheryl's anxiety has escalated.

At home in Hamilton, she is unable to make it upstairs to the washroom. Don puts a commode chair in the living room, next to the brown floral couch Cheryl lives on these days.

"I was concerned about her not being able to walk," says Don. "I was afraid she would become an invalid."

On Sept. 14, Don takes Cheryl to the cottage. The quiet will do them some good, he thinks. His sister is with them, visiting from New Brunswick. The problem is, Cheryl is still emotionally distraught. Although she is back on her Zoloft and Lorazepam, they haven't really started taking effect yet. It takes a while for that to happen.

"She got worse after we got to the cottage," Don says. "She reverted to a psychological state she hadn't been in for a long time."

On the evening of Sept. 17, Cheryl is sitting on her walker. She falls off it, onto the floor.

"She has a very, very serious panic attack. She thought she would never get up," says Don. "We had to call the ambulance. It took five men to get her up. There are no handles on people."

Cheryl weighs 267 pounds.

She spends the next two nights in the Haliburton hospital.

Her blood pressure is high and her vision is blurred. For a while, one eye is open, the other shut.

A physiotherapist tries to get Cheryl up and walking. She only succeeds in getting her to a commode chair. Cheryl, too afraid to fall again, refuses to walk.

Doctors in Haliburton contact Dr. Greg Curnew, a cardiologist at Hamilton General Hospital.

It is decided Cheryl needs to be closer to home. Her case is complex. She would benefit from being able to see her family and friends. Don will have support, too.

On Sept. 20, a Thursday, Cheryl is discharged from Haliburton hospital. There is a bed waiting for her at the Hamilton hospital.Don, his sister and a highly agitated Cheryl set out after dark that night for the three-hour drive.

"She had an exaggerated feeling of things happening around her," Don explains. "So driving in a car was bad."

He takes her straight to the hospital.

Cheryl gets up to use the toilet at the hospital, but that's it. She refuses to walk.

"It's like I'm on the outside, watching my life go by," she tells her husband.

On Saturday, her sisters, Mary Lou Ashcroft and Dorothy Hamid, pay her a visit. What they see scares the hell out of them.

"She looked absolutely terrible," Mary Lou says. For the first time since her weight-loss surgery, they fear losing their sister.

"The not walking was a problem," Curnew says."We needed to determine if it was a neurological problem. We had tests scheduled."

On Saturday, Curnew spends 45 minutes at Cheryl's bedside. They chat about her weight and hatch a plan to keep her healthy and on track once she leaves hospital.

"Her spirits were good and she was starting to mobilize," says Curnew, who adds that two-thirds of his cardiac patients have a weight problem. By Monday, the medications seem to be kicking in and Cheryl is a bit more like herself.

"She brightened up a lot over that time," says Don.

It helps, too, that Cheryl has a constant stream of visitors.

Don goes in for the morning, heads back home for lunch, then to his wife's bedside again in the afternoon.Her best friend, Jo-Anne Cairns, is there every day. Sometimes for four or five hours. Cheryl's sisters try to be there for meals. They believe their presence encourages her to eat better.

Today, two weeks before Thanksgiving, the siblings plan for the holiday.

Cheryl, still in her hospital bed, says she wants to host Thanksgiving dinner at her house.

Wednesday, Sept. 26, is shaping up to be a busy day.

Don gets to the hospital early.

At 10 a.m., a new psychiatrist meets with Cheryl. "She had a fabulously long record of Cheryl's history," Don says.

For some reason, nobody has called Dr. Valerie Taylor, who has been Cheryl's psychiatrist for four years. Taylor specializes in obese patients.Cheryl is cheerful. Talking about coming home. Still in bed though. Afraid to get up. She is scheduled for an EMG (electromyography) in the afternoon to look at the nerve action in her legs to find out the cause of the tingling.

At 12:45 p.m. Don slips home for lunch. Just before 2 p.m., the phone rings.

Don knows he and Cheryl are an unlikely couple.

She is 52, he is 66. It is her first marriage, his third. She is loud and boisterous. He is a loner. She, at her heaviest, weighs 421 pounds. He weighs 180 pounds.

"We are two people, poles apart, who complement each other. We mix together to make a whole unit. She was great company.... She was the social side of me. Without her, I didn't have many friends. With her, I had a world of friends."

Don is in awe of his wife. Of the way she can stand up and challenge those around her to pay attention to obesity. The way she calls for caring and compassion.

"For all the strength she had for dealing with politicians and bureaucrats, she has so much vulnerability. She could move mountains even though she was shaking in her boots."

Don answers the phone.

It is a friend, calling from the hospital. Don needs to come back in.

The friend had dropped in for a visit with Cheryl. But her room is full of doctors and nurses. Staff are coaxing Cheryl out of bed. They are trying to get her on her feet after days of lying down.

"If you're not particularly mobile, clots will form," says Curnew. As she struggles to sit up, Cheryl complains of having difficulty breathing. Then she collapses. Her vital signs are lost.

A blood clot, at the top of her right thigh, had broken off and was making its way to her lungs.

"I got there and there was a chaplain in the hall outside her room," Don says, weeping.

"I knew the chaplain was bad news. They were still working on her in the room. So we went to a quiet room at the end of the hall and just waited. It was 10 or 15 minutes before the doctor came in and said they couldn't stop it. They couldn't fix it."

Cheryl anne Harvey died four months and 10 days after having the gastric bypass surgery she hoped would save her life.

When she took her last breath, she had lost 120 pounds.

Cheryl's death is not officially considered a surgical mortality. To qualify for that statistical category, she would have had to die within 30 days of her gastric bypass.

Her death is, however, related to complications from surgery.

"It's so disappointing and so tragic when this happens," says Dr. Hagen, who performed the bypass. Despite the risks involved with the surgery, Hagen still believes it was the best option for Cheryl.

"She would have died a premature death without it," he says. "She'd done spectacularly. She was right on target. But still she was morbidly obese when she died."

"She was the perfect patient."

Dr. Arya Sharma, one of Canada's leading obesity experts who treated Cheryl in Hamilton before her surgery, sees it differently.

"I'm not an advocate for obesity surgery," he says.

Society seems to think the best way to deal with the country's obesity epidemic is to sink more money into gastric bypass procedures. "But the last thing I want to see is surgeons churning out patients with no followup care." "Patients need lifelong followup," he says. "Cheryl is not alone. She died from long-term complications from surgery. We must put out a call for more funding for bariatric care."

Sharma is now based in Edmonton, where he is professor of medicine and chair for cardiovascular obesity research and management at the University of Alberta. He is also the scientific director of the Canadian Obesity Network. Taylor, the psychiatrist, is having dinner with a woman who has started a support group for gastric bypass patients."

"Did you know Cheryl Harvey died?" the woman asks. "Two weeks ago." Taylor hadn't even known Cheryl was hospitalized.

She is so upset, she has to leave the restaurant.

Don says if someone had realized earlier there was a stricture between Cheryl's bowel and her gastric pouch, maybe she would have been able to have it fixed sooner and maybe she would have taken all her meds and maybe she would never have fallen and maybe she would not have spent days lying in a hospital bed developing a fatal blood clot.

But Don is a realist.

"It's like when my two-year-old son died. If any one of 10 different things hadn't happened that day he drowned, he'd be alive now. There is a combination of things happening all the time."

Don does not regret the surgery. Would not try to talk some other morbidly obese person out of it.

"She had to do it as far as I can see," he says simply. "She was probably looking at a dead-end street the other way as well."

"Cheryl had been looking her entire life for a way to help people," Mary Lou says. "But because of her lack of education and her size, she was limited. But this - sharing her story - this, she could run with."

Don gets the final word. He takes a moment. Head in hands. Clearing his throat. Eyes red from crying.

"They say beauty is only skin deep. Well, Cheryl's beauty ran very deep."

See More here

Friday, March 28, 2008

A Gastric Bypass Rant

Recently studies (actually about four of them) have come out saying that the long-term data shows that overall bariatric or gastric surgery doesn’t guarantee that your health will be any better then it was when you started and that what’s really happening is that you’re trading one set of co-morbidities for another, it's just that the new set of co-morbidities are unknown.


As in many cases when things like this happen, there have been lobbying groups petitioning congress and the senate that denying people gastric or bariatric surgery is in fact denying rights or discriminatory to people of weight. In fact, a new cottage industry of lawyers has sprung up that now only fight and sue companies and insurance companies to get the procedure approved now that it's getting harder to cover.

I often think that when a medical procedure needs to start forming Advocacy groups like the OAC or a political action groups from industry associations that do lobby then the procedure needs a good looking at MORE INFORMATION HERE.


It seems that in many cases local state Medicare or Medicaid insurance have decided that they will no longer fund the surgeries due to what they say is a preponderance of evidence that it is turning out to be an non-viable or at best unproven solution in light of recent research on people five to ten years out, and that through looking at the RNY and banding the long-term side effects along the lines of malnutrition and other complications aren't worth their risk.


When state insurance decides that they won't cover a procedure then private insurance is sure to follow. That doesn't mean that all insurance is not going to cover it. My last company still does, and when I changed carriers this year I found out that my current one still does. Many providers are now moving to covering LapBand only, but now some say there is serious evidence that the LapBand can cause serious complications as well. Long term numbers on lap banding patients say that 25% or 1/4 of all Banding patients will need a further operation to correct something at some point and that ailure rates increase with time, up to 40% at 9 years.

Results Mean (range) age of the patients (male/female ratio 31:92) was 43 years (21–44). Mean (range) preoperative weight was 130 kg (92–191). Mean (range) preoperative body mass index was 49.28 kg/m2 (35.01–66.60). Patients lost to follow-up was nearly 20% at 5 years and 30% at 8 years. Major late complications (including band erosions 3.3%, slippage 6.5%, leakage 9.8%) leading to major reoperation occurred in 30 patients (24.4%). Nearly 40% of the reoperations was performed during the third year after the operation. The mean EWL at 7 years was 56% in patients with the band in place, but 46% in all patients. The failure rates increased from about 15% during years 1 to 3 to nearly 40% during years 8 and 9. The success rate declined from nearly 60% at 3 years to 35% at 8 and 9 years.

Conclusions Complications requiring reoperations are common during the third year after the operation, and almost 25% of the patients will need at least one reoperation. Mean EWL in all patients does not exceed 50% in 7 years or 40% in 9 years and failure rates increase with time, up to 40% at 9 years.

SOURCE HERE

Let me make a strong point here. This is not me saying this. I'm just repeating what I have been reading both in the US studies and in Canada where I am spending most of my time these days.

Don't hit me with any hate mail here kids I'm just calling them as I see them and providing as much source material for you all to go through as possible. This is not an opinion, this is not a feeling and it's not personal. To get really deeper on this take yourself over to Junkfood Science and go and read Sandy's recent archives and whatever she's currently writing about. She says the things I wish I could better then I ever could anyway.

This whole thing came to a head for me a few weeks ago when I got an email from a woman I used to work with many years ago who unbeknown to me became a reader here. She emailed me and then called about how she had fought in her head for years to make the decision on if she should have the surgery and finally made the decision to go ahead and then her insurance dropped the procedure, her doctor became uncomfortable recommending it based on some new data he saw, and crying on the phone she wanted to know what I thought that she should do.


What do I think a person should do when we have our first real evidential studies that seem to indicate that the risks and complications of bariatric surgery for your average obese person outweigh the benefits, and your Doctor says he doesn't think it's right for you and your insurance is using peer reviewed material to make their decision? My answer would have to be, listen to your doctor and I guess don't have the fucking operation. And I've given this same opinion out twice or three times a day to different people, both here, and on FaceBook for the last three weeks since I started drafting this post.

You can't seriously expect me to either through this blog, or in an email or phone conversation tell you to disregard your Doctor and these studies. If you trust your Doctor and your Doctor says that he's not against it per se, but against it for what he thinks is valid medical reasons then you go with what you trust. If you don't trust your doctor, what the fuck are you doing being a patient of that Doc anyway? Or get a new Doc, or a new Job that covers it.

I'm not saying that we should have SWAT teams stopping people from the operations ,but if you’re going to ask me then I'm not going to tell you to disregard a licensed medical persons advice. So please. I don't mind the contact. But don't ask me that. Ask me how I'm doing or what I know but not if you should disregard a qualified medical professional so you look good in a bathing suit. I'm not going to tell you about doing that no matter what. I may give you an opinion or some information based partially on personal experience, but the majority of my opinion is going to be based on peer-reviewed studies that look at large groups of people. The majority of the real stuff out there mitigating the studies I'm using as reference material seem to be on web pages that belong to surgeons who stand to benefit financially from having this procedure covered by insurance.

If you don't want to hear that sort of information I suggest that you not solicit my opinion on the thing. I would tell you to listen to the research or the AMA or pay a buck and read the studies on PubMed- that’s what I would say.

And stop telling me how easy it is for me to tell people this or that because I got my surgery You’re talking about me like I won the lottery or something, not like I asked a Doctor to remove more than 95% of my stomach and a good long portion of my intestines.

This is the thing right here that really put it into perspective. There is so much fucking pressure to be thin, and society treats you so fucking badly that they could come out with a study saying that in 80% of the cases a fucking alien will brutally rip through your asshole a la The Movie Alien, killing you at about the ten year mark and I guarantee you most people would still want the operation.

I remember a good friend of mine and I talking about AIDS back in the day and he made a comment to the effect of "Aids was a bitch, but on the other hand he really would like to see what he looked like in a size small business suit before he died." And it was a joke and my friend is a decent guy and he's gay so I suppose he has a right to make off color jokes about his own morbidity , but the thing is he had an eating problem and I truly think he meant that shit.

Now look, I know that as big people who have a chance at getting thin, no one wants to hear that anyone’s going to deny them the opportunity to be thin and having been on both sides of this issue I can tell you that and in my guts (or what’s left of them) I understand. I understand what the difference is in being fat versus being thin in how the world treats you. If you'll go back and read this blog you will see that one of my main goals was to present the data as it relates to what appears in the news and what I have experienced in the truest light that I can, good or bad.

And I see just now a post on TotalFark (the paid version of Fark.com) that said "Equal Opportunity" now means you have to hire your quota of fatties, and links to this article.

So I know what it's like to want to pick up a machine gun and kill all those fucks .

But this photoshop did make me laugh I hate to admit.


Oh, come on if you can't laugh you cry right?

It's hard to know what is correct, and yes, I have had my chance but let me give you an update on it which I haven't done in a while.

My teeth have never looked better, I mean they are Hollywood teeth and you want to know why? Because it turns out that the formula of calcium that I was taking was not the correct one for me, so it wasn't getting metabolized and my teeth started popping out of my head faster than those people in the novel TommyKnockers by Stephan King.

I was sitting in a dentist chair in Ontario, Canada, with a guy whose wall was covered with awards, advanced certifications and best practice statutes and a few patents telling me

"Mr. Blei I highly doubt that whatever is happening is so bad that we would have to remove all your teeth, In all my years as a dentist I've never..."

And then he looked at my X-Rays and I shit you not, I'm adding no drama, stopped mid sentence and looked at me and said-

"I'm so sorry but we can't save any of them, I mean if you had unlimited money, maybe a few but... I'm just so sorry. You’re going to need at least $17,000 in order to get back some semblance of a bite, and you have four in your lower jaw that are so bad that I need to pull them out either today or as soon as you can get some time off or you’re looking at some heavy pain, I can wait a while, but not later then the next 72 hours."

And there I was less then two days after that with no teeth left on my bottom jaw and a ticking time clock because if you don’t get something in there the whole jaw shrinks up. I'm sitting there in the guy’s office applying for a 17K loan so I can get back 45% of my bite. And mixing a gastric bypass and my lowered capacity for eating with an even lower ability to chew food properly means that my food choices (which were already limited) are now even more limited. I got a second opinion back in New York and it was the same, so I had my teeth done and then I went on a cruise and had all the food I could want and could try a million different things. I used it as an experiment because it breaks my heart to have my wife beating her ass apart trying to cook stuff for me that I have to turn away, So I go one a cruise where they feed you a billion times a day and have a billion different choices and say, I'll try what looks good and healthy and come back with a list of foods that work. I came home with one thing on that list. I can now eat over- boiled hotdogs. And don’t get me wrong- I'm actually really happy about that. I puked for 4 of the 7 nights of that trip though, because even though they look pretty these new teeth function like shit. Let’s not even bring up the fact that my bone density test shows me having osteoporosis like a fucking 70 year old post menopausal chain smoker with a milk allergy.

Let’s talk Iron baby. It's not working. I'm taking it, but again, it’s not being metabolized. I'm one blood test away from a blood transfusion. I'm Anemic and I've been taking Iron supplements, well, like a woman after Menopause ( yea, I'm noticing that the menopause comments are starting to creep in, it could be that I'm just praying my wife will have it over and done with soon. It's bad enough that I'm an American, but I'm a man too. Don't worry, she doesn't hate all Americans but once a month she hates this one. I am apparently for one to two weeks a month, personally responsible for everything George Bush has ever done in his life, the melting of the Polar Ice Caps and the Banking Crisis... I'm a fucking Left Wing Jew From New York for gods sake, we’re so liberal most Americans think that we are Communists. Suffice it to say that her PMS explains the menopause comments.)

My Vitamin D is bad; A is bad, even the B shots aren't kicking as hard as they should be. My protein level is shit except in my Urine where it shouldn't be and my white count makes me officially Immune affected due to the low numbers and the Potassium was like crap.

This isn't after not seeing my Doctor for a year or two, this is not seeing my doctor for 4 months. And it's not like they don’t have medical care here in Canada it's just that until I'm done immigrating I have to pay for it, but trust me I see Doctors when I need to, and if any of them had thought I needed a blood test I would have had it done and damn the cost.

Now let me stress I'm still not shitting on this procedure- again I feel fine, but the scary part of this is surprisingly I feel really really fine. And I mean that I feel ok- I sleep like shit but that’s normal for me, so with all that stuff going on under the hood I would have never guessed it had I not dropped in for a blood test. My energy level is great- it has to because in Canada, shoveling snow for four hours two or three times a week is the penance we pay for afflicting the world with Celine Dion and Bryan Adams. Theoretically I could continue to feel fine up until the point where I drop dead of malnutrition or break a hip due to bone loss or have a cardiac event due to low potassium and my main point here is that mostly, the majority of people don't really get it through their head that they have to be diligent about things like this forever, and even if they feel great they can still have something going on.

I think I'm one of the most careful people I know and what happened to me is that I took a break for a bit more then 90 days and during that time I had a number of very serious things go south.

Ultimately I was smart enough to make sure I had time set aside to go and see my doctor for just this reason and I'll be doing that for the rest of my life or until they find a way for me to monitor these things without my having to do a blood draw. It's still a trade off that I would still take but probably the people in OSSG gone wrong would for the most part disagree with me, and the thing about these people is that they are shunned by the community that they have created.

Weight loss chat rooms and support groups are for the most part incredibly supportive places for people who need an serious amount of support. Specifically because as we all know society isn't that supportive of people with weight problems. You'll have a better time coming into a room full of people and telling everyone you meet that you are in recovery from crack after being arrested trying to fuck your neighbors cat in the middle of third avenue then you are to tell someone at a party that you go to OA.

But those support groups aren't so very supportive if you're not happy with the outcome, or you're sick or you're dying, and these things (and this is very important) happen to the most compliant people who work with the best doctors under the best situations.

I'm not saying that Gastric Bypass or Banding is a absolute killer. What I am saying is that like any other major and radical surgery people don't all follow the same path of recovery and don't always have have a story book life.

For every one of us that goes on to run a triathlon, there's probably another person if these studies are correct who has a problem getting up off the toilet.

And it would probably be safe to say that if you took the same set of things that happens, like people getting wound infections, or people getting blood clots or having to go and have re-operations and you applied it to open heart surgery everyone would say" well it's open heart surgery moron , shit happens what do you expect , a walk through the park, be happy you're alive and if you end up dying then we gave it our best shot".

But take those same set of issues and apply it to someone trying to recover from WLS and that supportive environment shuns you and turns it into "It's not working because you're doing something wrong." And indeed there are people who do lousy aftercare, who eat stupidly who fuck themselves up.
But there are also people who do everything humanly possible to be compliant and make it work who become disabled and or dead and those people are treated like lepers by their surgeons and the WLS community that they depend on for support.


You hear stories about people misrepresenting what their actual post-surgery life is like because they are afraid to lose the support of their WLS peers and medical service folks. So maybe we should take WLS like we take open heart surgery. You do it only when the only other option is dying and you take it with the understanding that you might not in fact get better, but worse.

If someone got worse after open heart surgery you might say, well you know, they waited too long or how much do you think a body can withstand. I mean look at all the abuse this body took and it was frankly surprising that they made it this far, good try but not your fault.

And even though I'm saying right here that my experience, I still regard the surgery as positive and beneficial for me I guarantee you that a day after posting this thing I'm going to get at least 100 emails varying from people telling me that I'm fucked in the head, making the problem worse and not better and cursing my parents' loins.

If it's right or not for this surgery to be covered or not to be covered is not for me to say. What is for me to say is that I never see in the mainstream media any of the stories that I hear from people who have had this and had a negative experience . I still don't classify my experience as negative. I'm still happy with the way I look and my quality of life is pretty damn close to great.

But nothing about me indicated that I needed a blood test. Take your average person who has this operation, maybe they’re unemployed and lost their insurance (it happens), and like me they feel fine and because they don’t want to lose their house or just because they feel so fucking great not being 400 lbs anymore they think, “If I feel fine I'll stay away from the Doctors and if I feel badly I'll go”. Logic like that seems at face value to make sense, and you don’t start to feel badly apparently for a good long time and then one day your potassium goes so low you have a cardiac issue. When my Doctor called me last week he sounded like he was shitting a little. This is a guy who tells people on a daily basis that he found a tumor in their guts or their ass or what have you and he's sounding a little too nervous for my taste when he's talking to me about my bloodwork, and this isn't just a doctor, this guys a friend of mine.

My Doctor is a practicing gastroenterology Doc at one of New Yorks major teaching hospitals- he's no Shlump. And I'm asking him, "Dude you sound a little like you're shitting your pants over this." And he says.

"Yeah, well, the thing's doing what it's supposed to do but if another guy walked into my office with your bloodwork I'd be telling your wife to go get you fitted for a coffin."

What he says is that

"The operation is doing exactly what it's supposed to do. You're restricted, you're malabsorbing- you got what you asked for, it's working, doing what it's supposed to do. I'm not sure in the end that might not be the death of you, but if it is keep your mind on the fact that it killed you doing exactly what it's supposed to do and maybe think that you probably scored a few extra years and good for that, or the quality for those years were really better then you could have ever expected. "

I can own that. I can seriously face that and say "Yea if something goes really fucked up and if I do break a hip I'm probably better off than I would have been, but to all the WLS Docs out there I would say "Don't feed me and the rest of the world a fairytale about how everyone's recovery is pretty much the same and everyone pretty much lives happily ever after. We all grow younger , have better sex , the guys' genitals all grow to enormous proportions and the women age backwards twenty five years and we all live in some sort of Yeast Infection commercial where a chick in her late forties is doing the Samba on a Caribbean beach, with an 18 year old Puerto Rican stud while something the consistency of Fontina cheese is leaking out of her cooch."

That's just not what my albeit thankfully limited experience with women having yeast infections has been. And it's quite the same thing that even people who are experiencing minor to major problems make this whole thing out to be a walk through the park and even in the best of circumstances it isn't.

Maybe for some people, but the overwhelming amount of people I speak to who are 3 years or more out have issues, and they are issues that they only found out about pretty much after the honeymoon was over. Then suddenly, their Doctor who up until then had their head-shot on his web page won't return their calls because suddenly they must be non compliant because no one has problems after this. And people are so deluded by the whole thing about being thin and never wanting to have people look at you or treat them the way that they did when they were fat that the overwhelming majority of people (even those experiencing harshly negative side effects or complications) would go out and risk it all again and have a redo. Now, they have come out with that product- a non surgical option- in case you eat your fucking face out and lose your pouch or for whatever reason gain weight back, you can go and have an endoscope down your throat and tie your pouch up nice and pretty like the day you got out of surgery, and what's worse before they had that option people were going in and paying out of pocket to have the whole fucking procedure redone on the pouch that they stretched out after the first one. So now they're having a pouch made out of a pouch and I know people who are on their third fucking pouch from a pouch and when does a fucking doctor stand up and say fucking enough. Three life threatening operations and your pouch is stretched so fine that a good fart would pop your intestine out of your nose is enough. No more for you, you're done. .


That’s the scary part and that’s why if you email me and/or you call me or whatever and you ask me I'm not going to give you the yeast infection commercial version of advice.

You can ask me if I'm still happy I did it, yes. I am. But do you also know that I really really could use gaining another 25 pounds to start to look somewhat human again but honestly if I did gain those 25 pounds ..I would be freaking out so hard you might have to put me in a mental hospital. Thats how fucked up even my head is and how afraid , mortally deathly afraid that I'm going to be overweight again I am. Don't let me fool you. I talk a good game but if it came right down to it and I had a choice of being fat and happy or being thin and anally violated by a barbed wire 14 inch dildo with a rusty drill bit on the end of it weekly ...but being thin that whole time I would probably ask you what sort of lube you were going to use on me and ask you if I needed to sign a paper for you or something. THATS HOW FUCKED UP THIS INSIDIOUS THING IS!!!



The findings, published in October's Journal of the American College of Surgeons:

• One in 50 surgery patients died within 30 days. (Other studies have reported one in 200 or one in 500 die.)

• About 3% of gastric-bypass patients younger than 40 had died in the 13.6 years after the surgery, compared with 13.8% of those who did not have the surgery.

• Overall, 11.8% of gastric-bypass patients of all ages had died after 15 years, compared with 16.3% who hadn't been operated on.

"A limitation of the study is we don't know if the people who get the surgery are healthier or sicker than those who don't," says lead researcher David Flum, a gastrointestinal surgeon at University of Washington School of Medicine.

There are risks of dying during or after gastric bypass, but those who make it often get improvements in diabetes, heart disease, lung function and other medical problems and seem to live longer, he says.

Previous research that examined the risk of dying was from "the best surgeons in the country presenting their best results," Flum says. The new data included all levels of surgical experience. Patients are five times more likely to die if the surgeon has less experience, he says.

While in another study, researchers at McGill University Health Centre in Montreal compared 1,035 morbidly obese patients who had bariatric surgery, mostly gastric bypass, with 5,746 who were similarly overweight but did not have the operation. The findings in September's Annals of Surgery showed that gastric-bypass patients lost 67% of their excess weight.

In a five-year follow-up period, six people died who had the surgery (four because of the operation), compared with 350 who died in the larger group. After adjusting for the different size of the groups, researchers say bariatric patients had an 89% reduced risk of death.

"If you take obese people and invest some money in this surgery, you are going to save lives," says lead researcher Nicolas Christou, who is head of general surgery at McGill. He performs many of the gastric-bypass surgeries in Canada.

Paul Ernsberger, an opponent of bariatric surgery and an associate professor of nutrition at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine in Cleveland, echoes Flum's concern that the patients who didn't have the surgery in these studies may have been sicker than those who did.

The studies have limitations but are important, says Samuel Klein of the Center for Human Nutrition at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis. "They suggest that bariatric surgery improves long-term survival in extremely obese patients, but there is an increased risk upfront."- SOURCE USA TODAY FOR ARTICLE CLICK HERE

Ernsberger in another discussion on CNN said in this SOURCE HERE

"What you see is people in the honeymoon period. So weight loss will peak at about one and a half to two years. And then people regain the weight. I've talked to many people five, 10 years after having gastric bypass, they've regained the weight, but now they're having severe side effects. The side effects are permanent, the weight loss is not."

I'll again take the liberty of quoting Junkfood Science

"It can be easy to forget that healthcare is BIG business and uses the same sales and marketing tactics of other product or services. When separating marketing from impartial health information, as the FTC criteria emphasize, the first step is to watch out for efforts to manipulate your emotions: inspirational and motivational success stories and testimonials, or frightening and threatening statements about deadly diseases for which they can offer a cure."

People are evil pieces of shit-'You Are So Fat!'

If You Saw an Overweight Person Being Verbally Attacked, How Would You React?


Obese Abuse
ABC's hidden cameras capture bystander reactions to verbal abuse. (ABC News)

For visitors and residents of Long Branch, N.J., it was a typical, tranquil day at the beach — until they heard three young, bikini-clad women spouting insults at a woman on the boardwalk.

"Oh my God! You are so fat," one of the girls said. "How could you sit here and eat like that? Have you ever tried lipo? What about gastric bypass?"

The target of the girls' vicious remarks was a middle-aged woman sitting on a bench and snacking on a few fries while trying to enjoy her book.

"Please just leave me alone," the woman pleaded.

The language was no doubt disturbing, but the three young women and their victim, Cynthia, were actors taking part in an ABC News experiment. We lined the boardwalk of this Jersey Shore town with hidden cameras and kept a watchful eye on the scene from our control van parked nearby.

The purpose? To find out what people would do if they saw three teens verbally harassing a woman simply because of her weight.

'D-G-I, Don't Get Involved'

Most passersby appeared oblivious. Fourteen beachgoers walked by without even glancing at the actors, despite their clearly hateful remarks.

Then, a woman named Elayne walked by with her son, Alex, and the girls no longer went unnoticed. Obviously concerned, Elayne and Alex looked back several times as they walked past but chose not to stop.

"It's very unfortunate, you know, how they could be so mean to each other, but I wasn't going to get involved," Elayne said. "Sometimes you have to just be like 'D-G-I, don't get involved.'"

A Universal Stereotype

"[Alex and Elayne] could have seen it as really not that bad, not deserving of an intervention at all, or they could have seen it as something that wasn't their business," said Carrie Keating, a social psychology professor at Colgate University.

Keating was shocked at how few people noticed but chose not to intervene. She said this stems from a stereotype that overweight people only have themselves to blame.

"They're perceived as not very smart, out of control … lazy, unhealthy," Keating said. "The stereotypes and prejudices we have about overweight people are so prolific, they're so pervasive that we often fail to recognize them."

Indeed, the stereotype was so pervasive that 35 percent of people polled in an ABC News survey reported prejudices or "negative feelings" toward the overweight.

Keating cited the cruelty of our actors' unscripted taunts and how easily the girls improvised.

"Wasn't it interesting that the actresses who were harassing this woman came up with such powerful language … and they didn't need a script to do it," Keating said.

The Sweetest Touch

Finally, a woman named Sally had heard enough. She engaged our mean girls, appealing to their softer side. Like Keating, Sally was also shocked at the lack of concern from other pedestrians.

"I felt really sorry for her because she was by herself," Sally said. "It really upset me; everyone's just ignoring her."

It also upset our actors.

"It was getting harder and harder to go on with no one stopping us, because the things that were coming out of our mouths were such hurtful things that none of the three of us would normally say," said Adrienne, one of three taunters.

The Expert Opinion

After tears and hugs were shared between Sally, the victim Cynthia and the girls, the three taunters resumed their characters and the callous remarks. Then, a young woman named Elizabeth took a second look. Puzzled, she stood at a distance to assess the situation and then approached our actors with a soft-spoken confidence.

"It's really disgraceful to me to see people act this way towards someone else," Elizabeth said to the girls. "I think she can make her own decisions, OK? And she doesn't need people she doesn't know coming up to her and making really hurtful remarks."

Elizabeth is a psychology major studying nutrition and obesity issues. She said she didn't know if she was intervening in the right way, but she knew that she had to say something.

"I guess, given my experience and my education, this is something that I really care about," Elizabeth said. "I want to effect change one day, and it's starting right now."

Altering the Experiment

Of the more than 60 people who clearly heard the nasty insults, only five stopped and intervened. Would this change if the abusers were boys instead of girls?

Mark, Dan, and Matthew, three young actors, were also given the task of relentlessly harassing our other actor, Cynthia, about her weight. The same harsh words ensued.

"Hey fatty. Hi orca," one of the boys said.

Many people noticed and walked by, but they kept their distance. One group of four said they were very concerned but chose to keep an eye on things from the other end of the boardwalk. "If there was some physical confrontation, then we might have gotten involved," one man in the group said.

Were boys more threatening to passersby, making it harder to approach them?

One woman named Suzanne boldly went up to the trio with her phone out and fingers ready to dial help. Losing sight of her own vulnerability, she stepped in between the harassers and their victim. Without hesitation, she dialed 911.

"I did feel threatened," Suzanne said. "To get involved yourself sometimes can lead to you getting in trouble, but you can't let it go on."

For several others, the need to intervene also superseded any perceived threat.

"I usually get too angry to think that a person's going to do something to me, which is not safe, but that's how I normally react," said another woman who confronted the abusers.

Borderline Reality

Our victim was sincerely grateful for her defenders and admitted the experiment was beginning to feel very personal.

"Even though I know they're acting, it's still kind of harsh to hear those words," Cynthia said. "It makes you think for a second, 'You know, why are they saying them?'"

Keating, the social psychology professor, said that the "actress sitting on the bench must have had a very long day, hearing this kind of language coming so easily. There's a kernel of truth there buried in what the actors and actresses did. And that truth rings loud and clear in the ears — in the mind of the victim."

A Beautiful Ending

In the end, it was a combination of anger toward the abusers and sympathy for our victim that fueled intervention. The compassion was palpable.

"I would want somebody to get involved if it was me or my daughter or my sons or my friend or my mother or grandmother," said another woman who called the police.

For actor Cynthia, the long day ended on a high note. After a barrage of harsh words and taunting remarks, a woman named Lynne offered a whisper of encouragement.

"Don't let them beat up on you," she said. "You're beautiful."

61 Comments



Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Overeating Replaced With Other Compulsive Behaviors

Overeating Replaced With Other Compulsive Behaviors
November 28, 2006

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (Cox News Service) -- For an emerging number of weight-loss surgery patients, giving up comfort food means guzzling Southern Comfort.

Or hitting the mall instead of McDonald's, even though creditors are calling.

Researchers call this behavioral shift "addiction transfer," which means swapping one compulsive act, such as overeating, with another in an attempt to numb emotions or fill an inner void. And mental-health experts say that because bariatric procedures have become more common -- and patients more candid -- they're seeing increased cases of alcoholism, obsessive shopping, gambling and promiscuity.

After the euphoria of rapid weight loss fades, a harsh reality appears: Life is still tough even if you can fit in an airplane seat.

"The problem is that many people who have surgery haven't been in therapy to address the issues behind their eating disorder," says Kathryn Friedman Sloan, a licensed mental-health counselor in Palm Beach Gardens. "Most of them are emotional eaters, and when you take that away, they're left with 'what do I do with my emotions?"

An upcoming Bariatric Times article focuses on addiction transfer.

"It's probably been about the last year and a half to two years that it's been coming out in the research," says coauthor Cynthia Alexander, a psychologist at Cleveland Clinic Florida. "We've started warning people that they have to be on the lookout. I've stepped up what I do in support groups and through education so that this doesn't happen to our patients.

"There are millions of people who've had surgery who are dealing with this and want to bring it to light."

Gastric-bypass poster child Carnie Wilson, for example, appeared on Oprah last month to say she'd become an alcoholic two years after her highly publicized operation in 1999. With binge eating gone as a coping mechanism, the singer started drinking up to 10 martinis a day to soothe stress. Although she'd lost 150 pounds, the negative feelings that fueled her obesity still lurked.

"I'm here to get the message out that after you've had surgery, you need to focus on what's in your head," she said, adding that it's not always possible to "solve it all" before going under the knife because many morbidly obese people face life-threatening illnesses that mandate weight loss now, therapy later.

Another woman on the show, who lost 200 pounds, revealed that she started having affairs as a way to distract herself from an unhappy marriage. "Being thin was supposed to be the answer to all my problems," she said. "But then you finally achieve that goal, and everything is not all better. It came as such a shock."

That light-bulb moment, counselors say, can trigger depression that some post-operative patients try to medicate with liquor, shopping or cigarettes. And for many, depression is what brought them to a bariatric surgeon's office in the first place.

There's another paradox: The positive step of dropping pounds can be stressful in itself.

"Dynamics change after you start reducing weight and putting the next foot forward," says psychologist Melodie Moorehead, the other author of the upcoming Bariatric Times article.

"Relationships can shift as you put more balance in your life. You may have to retrain your boss that you're not working 65 hours a week or retrain family members that you're taking better care of yourself.

"Perhaps, for the first time, you're going out on dates or playing soccer or doing a number of things to round out your lifestyle," says Moorehead, who works with patients at JFK Medical Center in Atlantis. "All of this requires adjustment."

In other words, weight-loss surgery alters more than a person's pant size.

John Hoffmann, a construction project manager, has lost nearly 200 pounds since his operation in April.

"I started dealing with some anxiety issues about two months ago," he says. "But with therapy and medication, I'm doing better. I don't care how prepared you are for this, when I talk to people about it, I compare it to drug addicts and alcoholics. The things you were eating over are going to get to you eventually."

Experts emphasize that bariatric surgery doesn't cause addiction, which Alexander and Moorehead state in their article.

"It seems to make sense," they write, "that if a person has a high addiction factor before surgery and is turning to food for reasons other than nutrition, (then) after surgery ... the disease of addiction can show up in another form."

Wilson echoed their point on Oprah.

"The weight-loss surgery didn't cause me to be an alcoholic," said the singer, who quit drinking two years ago. "I'm a born addict."

This is why Dr. Philip Schauer, president of the American Society for Bariatric Surgery, takes issue with linking addiction to the operating room.

"This has just come up out of nowhere," says Schauer, who works at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. "Bariatric surgery has been around for 30 years. It is true that some people before surgery have a predilection toward addiction. But transfer addiction has been sort of made up. There's no real psychological evidence that that's what's happening."

Mental-health workers say that all you have to do is attend a support group or click on an anonymous chat room to discover otherwise. However, the stigma of addiction, like that of obesity, keeps many patients from admitting they're in trouble.

New research suggests that the biochemical causes of compulsive behavior -- be it overeating, alcoholism or drug addiction -- are remarkably similar. The Wall Street Journal reported in July that scores of clinical trials on addiction are under way at the National Institutes of Health, and many of the drugs being studied target multiple behaviors.

For now, experts say, the addiction-transfer issue is awareness.

"If you're having a drink now and then, it might not be a problem," Alexander says. "But if you find it's steadily escalating, take notice of that and get help early.

"Call any psychologist. Call the number on the back of your insurance card for a referral. Call the mental-health hot line at 211. There's help out there for developing other ways to deal with stress and emotions."

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Woman has weight loss surgery but gains weight back years later




Thousands of Americans have achieved dramatic weight loss thanks to surgical techniques. We often hear about the success stories, but rarely do people speak of the failures. Eight years ago Jennifer Charlton ran out of options. Diets failed her and a leg injury prevented her from exercising. At 5'3 she weighed 300 pounds. She researched bariatric surgery for a year and decided it was the right choice for her.

In 2001 a doctor surgically made her stomach smaller. The procedure was a success and in a few months Jennifer lost nearly 150 pounds.

But instead of embracing her new look, Jennifer felt disconnected.

"It was just strange to look in the mirror and not recognize myself and not feel like I was in my own body." Click here to Launch Video

Two years after surgery a personal crisis spiraled her into a deep depression. Unable to cope, Jennifer sought comfort in unhealthy food and alcohol.

A chronic insomniac, she used the wine to help her sleep. Eventually the weight crept back on. She needed help but didn't know where to turn.

She's not alone. When Jennifer had her surgery bariatric programs were relatively new. They've learned much since then including how to help patients cope with problems years after surgery. However, it only works with a willing patient.

Courtney Holbrook, Ph.D. is a psychologist for St. Vincent Charity Hospital's Center for Bariatric Surgery. She encourages patients not to feel ashamed or alone.

On average a bariatric patient may regain about ten percent of their weight after two to five years. For those who gain much more, most programs offer intervention.

Karen Schulz, R.N. is the Executive Director of St. Vincent's program, "the first thing we tell them is not to be embarrassed we just want to help them and many people have just forgotten the behaviors and the choices that they need to make to be successful for a lifetime."

Jennifer doesn't regret having the surgery and is now trying to get back on track. She's now being treated for depression and hopes her story helps others.

"I guess I forgave myself and I don't feel like I should be ashamed. I did my best you know with the information that I had and maybe everybody did their best but maybe it can be better now."

Click on video to watch Monica's story.




Patients are given a schedule of who they will see (surgeon, dietitian, psychology team) at each phase of recovery. Patients make their next follow-up appointment at the end of their current visit. Program makes reminder phone calls for patients who have missed their appointments and send letters as well.

Specific plan designed for patients who regain weight. Exam to make sure there is not a physical reason for the weight gain (gastric pouch stretched, anastomosis (connection between gastric pouch and intestine) is too big).

Patient given appointments to work with dietitian in recording their food intake and exercise routine and refer them back to our psychological team to help determine the cause for weight regain.

Patients required to not only have a psychological evaluation and counseling pre-operatively, but they must also follow-up with psychological team at least quarterly for the 1st year after surgery, whether the patient feels it's necessary or not.

Typically patients get caught up in the euphoria of rapid weight loss initially, but they still need to make behavioral changes to maintain the weight loss, so psychological support is important.

Structured monthly support group meetings, with a 3 year curriculum that includes guest speakers as well as a time to share questions and concerns with the Bariatric Center staff in a group setting.

Patients asked to sign a contract, with themselves, making a commitment to attend at least 75% of support group meetings their 1st year after surgery.

Addiction help offered through psychological team.

Summa Health System

All patients considering surgery receive comprehensive education from the Bariatric Care Center?s multidisciplinary team. This includes an initial seminar led by one of Summa?s bariatric surgeons, a nutrition assessment from the center?s registered dietitian, a psychological assessment, an individualized exercise plan from a clinical exercise specialist, an intensive pre-operative education class, and monthly support groups. Additionally, after surgery, all patients are encouraged to follow-up annually for life.






Friday, February 01, 2008

I just really wish this were a joke. Misissippi lawmakers seek to ban obese from public restaurants

Via Junkfood Science

No fat people allowed: Only the slim will be allowed to dine in public!

It has actually happened. Lawmakers have proposed legislation that forbids restaurants and food establishments from serving food to anyone who is obese (as defined by the State). Under this bill, food establishments are to be monitored for compliance under the State Department of Health and violators will have their business permits revoked.

House Bill 282 was introduced in the 2008 Mississippi legislative session on Friday by Representative W.T. Mayhall, Jr., a retired pharmaceutical salesman with DuPont-Merk. Its co-authors are Bobby Shows, a businessman, and John Read, a pharmacist.

The full text reads:

HOUSE BILL NO. 282

An act to prohibit certain food establishments from serving food to any person who is obese, based on criteria prescribed by the state department of health; to direct the department to prepare written materials that describe and explain the criteria for determining whether a person is obese and to provide those materials to the food establishments; to direct the department to monitor the food establishments for compliance with the provisions of this act; and for related purposes. Be it enacted by the legislature of the state of Mississippi:

SECTION 1.

(1) The provisions of this section shall apply to any food establishment that is required to obtain a permit from the State Department of Health under Section 41-3-15(4)(f), that operates primarily in an enclosed facility and that has five (5) or more seats for customers.

(2) Any food establishment to which this section applies shall not be allowed to serve food to any person who is obese, based on criteria prescribed by the State Department of Health after consultation with the Mississippi Council on Obesity Prevention and Management established under Section 41-101-1 or its successor. The State Department of Health shall prepare written materials that describe and explain the criteria for determining whether a person is obese, and shall provide those materials to all food establishments to which this section applies. A food establishment shall be entitled to rely on the criteria for obesity in those written materials when determining whether or not it is allowed to serve food to any person.

(3) The State Department of Health shall monitor the food establishments to which this section applies for compliance with the provisions of this section, and may revoke the permit of any food establishment that repeatedly violates the provisions of this section.

SECTION 2. This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2008.




So, yes, this is for real and these elected officials actually believe this stuff. I highly recommend that you bread the full article by Sandy Szwarc on Junkfood Science HERE

Szwarc in a belief that this had to be some sort of joke actually called lead author, Rep. Mayhall and asked if this was serious legislation or tongue-in-cheek to make a point.

His response? "He said that while, regrettably, he doesn’t believe his bill will pass, this is serious. He wrote it, he said, because of the “urgency of the obesity crisis and need for government action.” He hopes it will “call attention to the serious problem of obesity and what it is costing the Medicare system.”

And if you want to see the actual text of the bill click HERE

And as Sandy pointed out

"The time is now for all Americans who value their freedom to eat, look, breathe and live their lives how they choose to unite!"

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Learn

Click Here

The most common source of unsound health interventions

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Harvard gets on the bandwagon with mental health before and after weight loss surgery- This thing can kill you in more ways then one.

From this Article HERE
"

People eligible for the surgery often have a history of mental health problems or eating disorders. Therefore, patients must be prepared mentally as well as physically before surgery, reports the January 2008 issue of the Harvard Mental Health Letter.

The psychological aspects of bariatric surgery are less well understood than the physical risks and benefits. Although the surgery is generally associated with improved mental health and quality of life, postsurgical psychological and behavioral changes are less predictable than physical changes.

The Harvard Mental Health Letter notes that mood disorders such as depression and anxiety affect many people who are eligible for bariatric surgery. The weight loss following surgery generally improves mood, at least initially. In studies, depression and anxiety scores were reduced significantly one year after surgery, but tended to be higher two and four years later. And some research has found higher-than-expected rates of suicide among surgery patients.

Eating disorders, such as binge eating, also affect many people considering bariatric surgery. And a highly controversial theory--as yet unproven--is that bariatric surgery may cause some people to lose weight but then "transfer" their food addiction to some other harmful addiction. Surgery may change the rate at which alcohol is absorbed, which may increase the risk of dependence in people who are vulnerable to becoming addicted. All of these factors underscore the need for mental health treatment before and after surgery, says the Harvard Mental Health Letter."

Not soon enough if you ask me. One of the most dreadful things I have ever witnessed was an initial consultation with a Bariatric surgeon who gave the group a 45 minute lecture, mentioned the mortality rate (which was incorrect) for about 12 seconds, and spent 5 minutes on Dumping Syndrom ,and then took people into his office where the whole of the consultation was "what surgery do you want , the band or the Bypass?

I didn't see one person whose consultation lasted more than 15 minutes. When I demanded that the doctor tell me which surgery was best for me and tried to extend that conversation to half an hour or even an hour, I was told that if I couldn't make up my mind, he wasn't going to make it up for me, and then he walked out of the room. Thinking that that particular doctor and I had obviously parted ways I was shocked to receive a call from his office only four days later asking me if I had made up my mind as to which surgery I wanted so that the doctor could begin filing the proper paperwork with my insurance company. Needless to say that doctor and I didn't do business,but I had similar experience with two other surgeons and a smaller type of incidence with the doctor who did end up doing my surgery, but it does go to show that if you have a BMI over 41, how quickly the bariatric community is looking to cash in on any well-insured person, regardless of their psychological profile or the length of consultation.

The majority of those people in that consultation were women age 25 and under and that discussion did not touch upon the limitations or side effects other then you might throw up and you might have a bad reaction to sugars and fats. No one told me about divorce rates, Addiction transference, side effects other then death and dumping .

While I do not know how many of those people ended up in the surgery, I do know that at least some of them did, and I have recently spoken with two young women who told me that they were completely unprepared for the reality of post-surgery life due to the lack of pre-surgery consultation and post-surgery psychological follow-up.


Also, sadly, I found out that a young woman who I was speaking to last year recently killed herself right before the holidays and again, was someone who I had spoken to who was not prepared for the psychological changes. This young woman finally gave in after acquiring an STD, an AIDS and pregnancy scare and then upon the loss of a boyfriend put a bottle of sleeping pills down her throat and woke up dead.

In October, ABC did an article related to Bariatric surgery patient’s suicide rate HERE

"While gastric bypass surgery may help obese people improve their health by shedding weight, the procedure may have a darker flipside when it comes to patients' risk of death from suicide and a continued risk of heart disease. This increased risk may indicate that bariatric surgery patients may require more intense follow-up in the months and years after their procedures.

most striking was the increase in suicide and accidental drug overdose after such surgeries, said Dr. Cori McBride, director of bariatric surgery at the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha, who was not affiliated with the study.

"Bariatric surgery does not cure depression, and these patients need treatment for depression," she said.

Dr. Daniel Jones, director of the bariatric program at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, agreed that the most startling finding is the risk of suicide after gastric bypass.

"This emphasizes the very important role of long-term follow-up, support groups and access to psychological services — which are not always covered by insurance companies," he said.

16,683 bariatric surgeries among Pennsylvania residents. They found a substantial number of excess deaths attributed to both suicide and heart disease after surgery."


And as far as those "multidisciplinary teams" who are supposed to follow up and support you, I'm afraid for the most part I have to call bullshit on that as well. In my case


I had a very nice woman who was assigned to help me, but for the most part, when I came to her afraid after 9 months of not being able to eat, and all that she could tell me was that no one really knows how the body is going to react. While she predicted that everything would be okay, neither she nor I really knew that it would be. Certainly when I approached her about various psychological things that were going on, including addiction transference, irresponsible behaviors, and various urges and bad decision-making which was unlike me, she again was decent enough to tell me the truth. She was a nurse, not a psychologist, not a psychiatrist- she wasn't even a nutritionist. The sum total of the woman in her practice who did nutrition counseling had a sum total of experience in working with people who had stomach cancer.

She only ever gave me the advice "Keep trying to eat whatever you feel like eating." She recommended that I see my psychiatrist, my psychiatrist apologized because he was in unknown territory, and I went through a self-destructive period along with dysmorphia that I'm lucky to have survived.

I'm not saying that I still wouldn't do this if I had to make the decision over again. Almost 3 years post-surgery I have gotten a hold of things- I am okay with who I am, I have accepted the limitations that I have to live with, and I know what to watch out for, but it was close. I'm not saying the multi-disciplinary approach is not a way to go- in my experience, this needs to be a psychological specialty in and of itself and should be akin to gender reassignment surgery in the amount of pre-surgery consultations and post-surgery follow-up.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Ok things have taken a much to serious turn on this thing lately. I have to lighten things up

Happy Holidays

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

More on being fat ( taken from other material I have written and edited for display)

Weight in my opinion is about not hating yourself, it's about loving yourself enough to not be an active participant in your own death or at best immobilization and it’s about asking the people and the world to respect you and give you your due.



Obesity is a multi component disease and spans such things as addiction to co enabling, depression, and self-hatred. It is usually not as much about self-control as you think it is.

It’s about your head and your life. It’s really about exploring where you are, where you wanted to be and admitting to yourself the things that you’re afraid to admit that are making you unhappy. There are no jolly fat people. We are to a one, sad people with difficult life’s and we are on the whole unsatisfied with something that we are so afraid of even verbalizing,
So afraid of facing, that many of us are literally eating our heart out to avoid bringing to the surface.



Fat is often fear turned in on itself. What is true that you cannot really deal with being true?

Find that and your most likely going to find the root of the whole thing. Ultimately, that’s the journey that people who succeed at this have to end up taking. Or you have yourself operated on as I did.

That is sort of like taking a pin out of a grenade that you cannot put back. If you live through this operation then you are going to face all those things regardless of your desire to. The actual process of dealing with becoming involuntarily thin forces you to face what your life was like when you were fat and there is no way to not have to deal with those things regardless of your capability or readiness to do so. Like stepping in front of a train filled with your nightmares and deciding to apply the brake or let it run you down.



Studies are showing that people who are just overweight, not thin but overweight have an even a better chance of living longer then people who are thin, you don’t need to be thin , fuck being thin, and fuck everyone who says you have to be.

Instead be healthy in your mind and the body will follow. Most of us are not trying to be a fashion model, we are trying to have a good life that fulfills us and not die younger then we have to. . As far as dieting, If you really look at the research more then 90% of people who diet end up putting back more weight then they had previous before the diet. Looking to do any, sort of radical change is useless.

The best thing you can do is look at losing two pounds a week. Any faster then that barring having a dramatic altering of your physiology , is unhealthy and unproductive.


I totally respect and agree with people of weight who have no interest in the surgery. It’s a killer both psychologically and physically. Knowing what I know now I still would have done it but if I were king of the world, the amount of people that would be allowed to get gastric surgery plus the qualifications for getting it would be changed dramatically.

I do not know one person whose has this surgery and came out the same person as they went in. More then 70% of people who have this end up having problems with handling the mind fuck that this is , The real studies are rife with drug and alcohol abuse, irresponsible sexual liaisons , divorce, loss of relationships and sometimes even suicide.


The psychological ramifications alone are enough to warrant a serious evaluation and that’s not including the physical. I have to work very hard at eating and it doest always work, I can have a week to two weeks when I am very hungry and have almost no success at eating, I may not be the norm but I am not far off of it. That is just physical.


Then there are as you say, people who are so intent on their addiction to food that they have this operation, lose their stomachs or have them made the size of a thumb, reroute or lose more then twenty feet of intestine but end up out eating the operation. A close friend had it, He was close to 500 Lbs, He had it because he was going to die very soon if he did not lose weight. Literally, he had heart failure and they could not even attempt fixing it unless he lost 150 lbs fast as he was 100% clogged in 3 arteries and 50% clogged in the last one. He was so big that they could not stent him because the machine they use to guide the wire would not see through the fat and he was too big to survive open heart.

So he lost his two hundred pounds, had a stent put in and went right back to putting that weight back on. Even if it made him nauseous to eat, now he is 67 and is well over 300 again after hitting a low of 275. I am different I went from near 400 to 149 at my lowest and now hold at 170-180. If my addiction to food were what you said it was, I would and anyone would be able to out eat this operation. You get two to three years if having this tool help you and then most people can eat much of what they did before.

Remember how I said this is about how much you hate yourself? This is one of my closest friends, do you think that if I or anyone else had the ability to intervene in this that we would not have. I cannot, no one but he can and I know the man and he hates himself. Why, or from what or what happened is his journey and he’s made a choice not to take it and his self loathing is materializing in a slow almost passive suicide.


But weight watchers and other fad diets are also bullshit. If it really was about counting points then we as a society would not have this struggle. Do your research and look at the long-term success ratio of people who use any sort of fad diet. The failure rates are in the high nineties.

You have to look at yourself and say I’m not going to lose two hundred pounds. I am not even going to diet. It is about saying I am going to do one thing this week that is healthy for me. Not healthy like eating more vegetables ( though that could be it if you chose), healthy like saying “This week I will stand up for myself one time” or This week I will do something to mitigate the pain I feel, this week I will take one step at advocating for myself and loving myself, take a day off, just do something that you like and do it for yourself selfishly because if you can’t love yourself you’ll find that your giving permission for people around you not to love you as well.

This week I will give myself permission to show myself some love. If you can just do one thing, one thing for you, one thing to help with the pain then you have taken the first real step.


Weight loss happens 2 lbs a week and no faster or your virtually 100% guaranteed at gaining more back. It’s a series of little steps and all about loving yourself just a little more this week then you did the last.

If you can get ahold of things and start to love yourself then losing two pounds a week is nothing, Childs play, just eat less, not a huge amount less, somewhat less. If you’re not able to even admit that there is something that’s hurting your soul then that two pounds might a pretty tough haul.


All I can say is I have been through the shit. I’m still in the shit but trying hard. and I learn to love myself more every day or I try and don't succeed but I try.

Cause that’s all I got. No diets, no exercise plans, no doctors, no pills and no surgery. In the end, it’s you, your head, your life and how willing you are to give yourself permission to love yourself, be loved and to fight for yourself and so much less about food addiction for the most part then you would ever dream.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Just to stop getting the question all the time













Yes I am still thin and still happy,














Thursday, August 24, 2006

Are you ready to for a roundup?..Yea me too



Ok well I'm sure I don'’t have to point out which one is before and which is after.

The operation was done in April of 2005 the larger of these two pictures was done I believe at some point in early 2004. I believe that according to my records and what my doctors told me that I was about 70- Lbs heavier then the before picture on the left. This is one of the fattest pictures I have. At some point in 2003 I stopped allowing anyone but family to take pictures of me, and then only with the caveat that they could not appear in any online medium without my approval. This picture on the left happened during that time however I had it because they required a picture during a sleep study to make sure all the leads were in correctly or some such nonsense. At some point I guess I snagged it.

So there you have it I'm thin. Lets have a brief Wrap up for all the questions I'm sure everyone will want to hear.

How's my health? - Actually I feel just fine, I've already had a few cold's that didn't turn into bronchitis, I had a CT scan a month or so back during one of my trips back to the states, and there does seem to be some issue with some sludge or something that's blocking my Bile Duct, even more funny is that they cannot seem to figure out if I still have a gall bladder or not. So I may be looking at a future surgery down the road to make sure the duct stays clear and to figure out the case of the missing gall bladder. I just kind of think it's important to know what you do and don't have inside of you in case something goes wrong. The Bile Duct thing is not so surprising; since I had such a massive weight loss in such a short time a little sludge is not so surprising. If I do have a gall bladder it's a wonder it didn't explode.

As for my day to day, I feel great. I still have to work hard to make sure I'm eating enough and I don't always succeed, The operation is doing what it's supposed to , I have malabsorbtion of food and vitamins which is almost totally dealt with though multivitamins and the monthly B12 shot, if I didn't take Nexium , the heartburn would be a very very serious issue and now that I don't live in the United States anymore it's a bit of a trick to find it sometimes especially since my insurance doesn't work outside of the States, I end up paying dearly. So I'm trying to see if a combination of over the counter things can take care of that and not erode my esophagus.

How's the eating going? - Meh...I think that's the best face I can put on it. Oh I can eat, but I have found that one of the interesting things about this is that my ability to eat has allot to do with my stress level. If I'm at all stressed and by stressed that can be something as insignificant as being in a busy restaurant then what could have been a moderate plate of food turns into a spoonful with accompanying nausea. I probably actually horf (Vomit, puke, boot) what have you about once every other month, so I have learned to read my body's signals. I'm pretty underweight though and that does bother me. If you look at this picture here
you can get some idea of how thin I actually am, (No comments about the package of smokes on the railing are solicited by the way). Also this picture shows my legs to a certain degree and you can see relative to my height there pretty skinny .

If I hadn't been wearing a sweater that morning you would see that aside from the blob of extra skin on my belly and arms which I may decide to have removed if the Bile duct surgery ends up happening (I also may not as the skin removal is really quite a serious surgery and truthfully I'm not that vain and am in the best relationship of my life.)

My ass does look like a Shar-Pei ..and I mean that totally seriously, even when I was 45 or 50 lbs heavier , I still had some pretty good cleavage action happening, I assure you this has not improved with time. But look you have to take it as what it is. I was in the upper three hundreds and closer to 400 then 350 at my heaviest. So some tits and a wrinkly ass is one of those trade off's you have to take with the good.

And so with that I end this blog knowing through the letters I received that I helped some of you get some honest answers. The things I really learned is it's a trade off. The whole thing, life, everything, when I lost the weight I lost allot of other stuff, Including for a good long time my mind.

I have known a few people who simply could not handle it. I know a few who have died making the decision and a few who killed themselves on purpose after the operation. And yes it's that serious, it can bring you to a suicidal state. Not just because you can or cannot eat. The whole thing is one gigantic mindfuck. You never really know how being fat affects your head until you’re suddenly and radically not.

I have so much compassion for those of us who have decided to stay on the other side of the fence. I still would never recommend this operation to anybody. I still believe it was right for me. But If I die in 5 years will that matter? To me yes, it's been a good few months since I made the decision to be the man I am now. I finally found the woman I'm really ready to spend the rest of my life with. And the best part for me is that this is someone who loved me still when i was fat, and would have taken me thin or fat.

I know from others and I know from the period of time when I was not acting my age but acting like a spoiled 5 year old that you spend allot of time wondering if this person or that person would have cared about you if you were the person you were before. The truth for all of us is and the thing that people need to understand is that under it all, you are essentially the same person.

Losing weight does not remove defects of character, In fact it enhances them. Losing the weight will cause insecurity and also takes away your excuses for allot of things. I started this thing to do two things the first was to give an honest outline of my experience the good and bad. The second was to give people a look inside my mind as the process for good or bad took place.

I am honored to have made many friends off of this blog, but it's time for me to stop being an attention whore and just live my life. I moved out of the United States as I mentioned before so if the apocalypse happens while I'm away I wish you all the best. I also don’t want to be public about this anymore, I want to be known for something else then being the guy who had an operation and lost weight. I thought long and hard as to if I should make this final post or not. I came to the realization that I owned it to people who followed this blog to give you an idea of how it all came out and what i actually look like. So there you have it. Anyone is still welcome to email me, you can write to blogger at fatjewguy.com or bleiblog at gmail dot com and I'll answer you. But publicly I felt that the posting of the articles good and bad were a bit much so a few weeks ago I trimmed it down. I felt leaving the ones about the bad experiences were ok since I never and this was so very important to me, I never wanted anyone to make a decision about if they were to do this to themselves based upon how I looked or if I advocated or not. Only you know what is right for you and the best way to spend the time that the universe has given you. As for me, I’m finally happy; The happiness in the end had nothing to do with my size. That was about health. The happiness in the end was the journey that I took to stop doing the things that the universe was telling me not to do, and doing what the universe wanted me to do. To stop thinking about my decisions and relying on my gut, no matter how small. It was also about growing up and being aware of what you had and not throwing it away. I tried to defeat myself so many times on so many levels. Not just when I was bigger but even thin. The biggest lesson was doing the right thing, as an adult and as a man and thinking of myself first and being aware of who was really there and who was not. I'm getting married soon and for the first time in my life thin or fat I can say.



I'm a happy man.



I'm also a wealthy man but not talking about financial wealth I'm talking about doing what I'm meant to do and being fufilled and satisfied.

I hope you all find what your looking for and hope for everyone that you find half the happiness and fufillment I have. even if it doesn't last forever. Even if I did this too late and I only have a small amount of time left. I'm doing the right thing for myself and the people around me. I'm finally the man I was supposed to be. Be good to each other. .

Ok there is another letter that I answered

I saw what you wrote. I hope you don’t feel I was harsh but man I have lived in your motherfucking shoes for thirty years. And the self loathing got so bad for me that I actually had my body mutilated and my stomach removed to change it. That’s fucking hopeless man so don’t for a second think that I don’t know where you’re at. What you also don’t know is that there is a *** group of overweight people who meet on the net periodically and help each other. There is No Snark. You’re also not the only really big person on **** and not the only one who is in some sort of crisis. You sound hurt and alone and depressed. I’m reaching out to you here as a brother would. I still fight the war you’re fighting. I know everything about it. I know what it’s like to have to look for your dick when you have sex. I know the looks people give you when you sit next to them. I know about the Hygiene and the smells and the hate and the loathing which only wants to make you give up and eat more.

I’m reaching out and trying to be your friend here and telling you that you don’t have to go through this shit alone. That there is someone besides your wife who will understand this is hopeless black fucking hole. That if you want to try people here can help you along, or they can point you too the right place and if you don’t I still understand, I’ve still been there. Many of us have and the only thing we have found is each other. No Diet, No Doctor, No God, Religion, Fad, operation or meeting solves it. Only you and other’s who suffers with the shit we have understand it. And if you’re feeling alone you don’t have too. There are more of us then you know.

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I just want to thank you for writing me.


I've been reading your blog all day, pondering and pondering everything over and over in my head, and I'm absolutely terrified about what's going to happen no matter what I choose to do. If I keep going the way I am I might eventually get down to where I would like to be, but will I still be healthy enough to take advantage of it by then?

The thing is, I'm set in my ways. I have a hard time changing anything about my routines, but I know I'm going to have to change something major and do it soon. I've actually got a pretty good heart for someone my size (my GP told me that a couple years ago, and I've lost a bit of weight since then) but diabetes is prevalent in my family (come from a family of big people, grandparents, parents, and siblings are all huge. Nutty Professor huge.)



You hear about all these ads on tv for these wonder drugs on the market that say you can "lose lots of weight and not change your daily eating habits"...I really wish things were that easy. I honestly wish I knew what it was that started my weight gain, cause I was normal sized until elementary school. I just kept getting bigger.


I know I sound helpless but that's how I feel. I feel like I have no options left. I feel like everything everyone says is something I've tried before. I hate to vent but there have been times that I've looked at myself in the mirror after a shower and broken down into tears because I can't stand to do it anymore. I feel like I'm trapped in a body that's too big for me and I can't get out of it because I'm torn between denial and wanting to take drastic measures.


I don't want to die young. At the same time I don't want to be the guy left out at the party when they're ordering pizzas and I'm off munching on celery in the corner. The alienation hurts more than anything when I diet. I'm a social person now and I like to go out with friends and I want to be included in what they're doing when we go out, not feel like even more of an outcast because I can't chow down on that oven-baked lasagna like everyone else can. I break down and I give in because I hate that look that even my best friends give me when I exclude myself from it.


I'm constantly surrounded by delicious food from my family, friends, and coworkers. I can't help the fact that I love pizza. It tastes delicious. Any way you make it, whatever you put on it, I love it. The guys at work order it all the time and I want to punch them every time they do because it's something that if I smell or see it, I will get hungry. very hungry. ravenously hungry.


I guess that's part of changing your relationship with food. I see food as a source of energy, a source of pleasure (food tastes good, that's how I got here to begin with), and a source of stress relief.


I'm sorry for venting so much, it's just hard finding someone that'll listen.

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Brother:

No thank you for writing me back. I would like to be your friend, and if you will allow me that honor then I will respond to what you have said.

Regardless of what your eventual decision is to change your life you are in now way too late. I doubt your much older then your early thirty’s and you would be shocked at how well your body will cooperate with you when you decide to make changes. The body knows that you’re in healing mode. I’m not talking about surgery here. I’m talking about what your body will most likely do when you start to make gradual changes to it. You will start to feel better even if you’re only successful half the time. And you would be shocked at how fast the body heals when you start to let it. Your not to late you have a lifetime ahead of you.

I was very very set in my ways myself. Dude do you not understand that any rational man who does something like I did found that he was so set in his ways and so unable to beat this that I put my life at risk and had most of my stomach removed. So believe me. This was one thing that I could not handle myself. I didn’t have a person like me to see going through the process. There was no choice, the benefits of losing weight outweighed the risks I was willing to take to gain some control over this. You see I failed at doing it the other way. This does not have to be your path, just because I failed doesn’t mean you have to. If I had been living with my current wife and in the situation I was in now. I believe I really would have been able to fight this war. Before this though and before I knew that this place where I am now could become a reality and before I understood what that reality was like I was hurting myself in very distinct ways and I was unable to stop myself. I’m just being honest, but my life was toxic and really the eating disorder, and that’s what we have...it’s an eating disorder was a symptom of how toxic my life had become. Yes I had been overweight, grossly most of my adult life. The last...well decade in fact my life was so horrible that went from, heavy and overweight. To Oh my god that’s the biggest man I have ever seen. I become what is known as Super Morbidly Obese. Beyond big, huge massive. But just so you know that it was truly a symptom of a larger issue there were other problems that I had along the way the weight only increased my self loathing and so I also had drug related issues. Which I beat or continue to beat, I had self destructive tendencies, depression, and mental illness. I also made mistakes with people, the relationships I chose and what I allowed to happen, to me and my life. I allowed people to tell me I was shit and then chose to believe them

I don’t know you nor do I assume your history but I will tell you that it wouldn’t shock me if you had some of the same issues. There are strong commonalities when you suffer from what we suffer from. You also may have another set of issues that are just as serious but different. However through all my studies I have found that very few people reach the emotional state you are in and the physical state without other stuff happening too. Just the actual act of going through life and hating yourself could cause you to become mentally ill in ways. So you’re set in your ways, ok...put it on the list as the first issue you need to work on to begin to transform yourself. And how will you start to change your ways? What is the exercise that you will use to start the first order of business? It is this; you will start to treat yourself better. Not just in the foods you do or do not eat, not in how you do or do not exercise and not how successful you are in losing weight, you just treat yourself and love yourself more. Pick something that you are allowing to happen to you because your taking what people are giving and thinking that you don’t deserve more and then realize that you do deserve more, and then ask for what you deserve. Pick one place, one interaction, one person, one thing, minor or major and say. I deserve better then this for what I am putting into it, and stand up for yourself on that one thing. Even if it’s as minor as calling customer service on a sales issue that you have been treated poorly by. Perform some activity in which you advocate for yourself. This will start you on your way. You have asked for and demanded better treatment. You have worth and deserve to be treated well. You may fail as you try the first time, or the second or the hundredth, but if you keep at it you will move forward. You will start to learn to not be set in your ways and learn how to effect change in your life by practicing being better to you. So that way you will see immediate results. Once you have started to be better to yourself which I know is for sure one of the issues that lead to people gaining weight, you will see that if you can affect one issue in your life you can affect others. And then you begin real work. This is not a radical thing. This is a slow process, which you will fail at, but you pick yourself up and you keep trying … to do better things for yourself... To change the dynamic about how you feel about yourself, how you allow the world to treat you.

There are no wonder drugs my friend. They keep coming up with them and then making them illegal because they hurt people. Amphetamines, Ionomin, Pondimen, Fen Fen, all given out to people in the last decade all now illegal. Leptin has no promise and so no, you hear about wonder drugs but you shouldn’t believe in them. You trade one thing for another and fat people do not need uppers. It’s inherently bad for people like us. We have hypertension, our hearts work too hard. You can’t put that on yourself even if you have a doctor who will give you something like that. Oh and you’ll be addicted to them. And one day when you want to stop nothing will have changed in the core of you so you’ll stop taking the “Wonder Drug” but whatever metabolism you had will have been controlled by that drug and will not kick in and the weight you have lost through these drugs will come back and it will come back twice as bad. There is no viable pharmaceutical option or I would know of it and advocate for it. We all would rather take a pill, it just doesn’t work that way for weight I’m sorry. There are magic drugs out there, just not for weight. But there could be a magic drug that affects the depression you have. There could be a tool available to you pharmaceutically that helps you along the way of stating to love yourself more and treat yourself better. If there is a wonder pill for you it may be there. It also may not be. It may just be a good therapist or a friend to talk too. There are wonder drugs all around us. You just have to realize that most of them don’t come out of a bottle; they come from the things around you and the assets available to you that you’re not leveraging for yourself.

I understand what you’re saying about being helpless around food. I’m not telling you that at the moment you are not. And by the way just so you know you really do not have to be the guy munching a celery stalk while your buddies are eating pizza. Non surgically and that’s what I’m talking to you about at the moment ( not that I wont talk about surgery if you want to, it’s just that you said that you really didn’t want to look at that now and I’m not going to say your wrong for feeling it’s too much for you. It may be. It is too much for many people. I agree with it, understand it and respect it. But even without surgery. You don’t have to be left out, real weight loss happens two pounds at a time, two pounds a week man. Trust me right now your taking dumps that are half that or more. So if you choose to eventually start addressing those issues slowly. You start with just cutting back enough to lose two pounds a week. So you don’t not have the Pizza, you don’t have the pie. You cut back just enough to barely expend just a bit more energy calorie wise then your taking in and from where your starting that will not be a radical change. When you get ravenously hungry you can hork out. You just choose different things. When I need to pig out it’s on popcorn. Yes I could choose something healthier but in truth popcorn with low fat but tasteful seasoning is what I eat when I want to put in a great deal of bulk. My great deal of bulk isn’t yours right now. But the theory is the same.

So my question to you is simple, can you just start to treat yourself better. Just a little? I read what you wrote, don’t panic, you don’t have to become a monk and you don’t have to live a life of depravation you will do things as your ready to do them. The first step is can you treat yourself just a little bit better? Can you take 30 days and pick some issues and keep a journal on what you want to treat yourself better in. And if you don’t want to start with food that’s fine. Start with something else. But pick one thing however minor, think about how you want it to change and then change it. Write down what you did, email it to yourself whatever. Maybe it’s not one thing a week, maybe its one thing every two for now. But if you can just start with that, I promise you, I swear to you that if you can do that, you can start, and by start I mean start the process of everything changing in your whole life, being the man you want to be. It starts slow, but take just one step and you will prove to yourself that you can take another. What do you think can you just take that step? If so, Write me or call me and tell me what it is. Celebrate it and then one day soon you’ll take another gradual step and another and one day you’ll look back and ask who that guy who you are today was? How he got into you and how glad you are to have gotten rid of him.

I promise. Below are my contact numbers if you wish to speak I will be more then happy to speak with you and not violate your privacy, our discussions will be between you and I. However if it’s ok with you I may strip all of the personal information off this email so that no one knows it’s you edit it for my content and possibly put this response letter on my website anonymously. People who read my blog aren’t ****** generally I have a tracker and my ****** gets very few looks I I have not used your name once in this response,

Mark

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I will respond to this in greater detail later today but I can see right now that's it's perfectly ok with me to put it up there.